The Salute Game and why you should play it

Hey Blog, I know that you’re a big fan of the show “How I Met Your Mother.” And it’s the show that introduced Davie and me to the Salute Game, on the 2007 “Slapsgiving” episode. Ever since, we never fail to be in “game on mode,” salute-wise.

It works like this: When you hear any military title employed in non-military-title fashion, you salute and acknowledge the title. Best way to explain is to demonstrate, so I’m going to give you a few excellent examples not necessarily based on true life happenings:

EXAMPLE 1

Wilson to House: House, you are one major pain in the ass.

Me ‘n’ Davie: [SALUTING] Major Pain-in-the Ass!

EXAMPLE 2

Person on pain-reliever commercial: And of course it works on my general discomfort.

Me ‘n’ Davie: [SALUTING] General Discomfort!

EXAMPLE 3

The B-52’s: You’re living in your own private Idaho...

Me ‘n’ Davie: [SALUTING] Private Idaho!

EXAMPLE 4

Person on popcorn commercial: Look, virtually every kernel popped!

Me ‘n’ Davie: [SALUTING] Colonel Popped!

EXAMPLE 5

British landlord showing new renter the bathroom: Here’s the loo, tenant—nice and roomy.

Me ‘n’ Davie: [SALUTING] Lieutenant Nice-and-Roomy!

Okay, I’ll admit that last one is a bit farfetched. But until you start playing the Salute Game 24/7 with your friends and significant others, you have no idea how often these words crop up in daily life. Particularly “major” and “general.” A quick Google search turned up these:

Major news, major categories, major fields, major improvement, major supplier, and the oh-so-amusing Major Depressive Disorder (how’d you like reporting to him?)

General discussion, general content, general questions, general ledger, and the rather intimidating General Dentistry (yikes!).

I promise you, you’ll be taking pains to more carefully employ these particular words when you speak.

Me: Man, Selke sure is doing some major vomming today!

Davie: [SALUTING] Major Vomming!

Me: Oops.

Davie: I guess she’s suffering from general malaise.

Me: [SALUTING] General Malaise!

Davie: Oops.

So, Blog, that’s our little salute to the Salute Game. Readers, if you’ve ever played, be sure to click the right-on box. And if you want to pledge to play it forevermore, click the yay box! It will be a Major Thrill to see your clicks.