How to have a MacGyver Party!

Blog, for the first time ever I think I've come up with something never before imagined by mankind. The MacGyver Party! I dare anyone to prove I didn't think of this first! Well, enough boasting...it's time now to tell everyone just how they can host their own and wow their friends and family with the amazing fun.

The inspiration for a MacGyver Party is, of course, the hit 80's show about a secret agent whose special talent is creating useful gadgets from everyday items at hand. And that's exactly what you and your guests will do! Here's how it went down at Magic House:

For Christmas I gave each of my daughters a MacGyver Basket. Said basket contained:

1 ticket to MacGyver Lunch
1 sturdy hanger with clips on it (like for pants)
1 "food saver" container
1 CD
1 magnet
1 sports bottle top
1 metal binder clip
1 balloon
2 wine glasses
2 socks (1 pretty, 1 plain)
2 votive candles
Decorative gravel (in baggie)
Kitty litter (in baggie)
Length of yarn

Random, hey blog? What can come of this? Well, that's the fun of it: your guests will be stumped. The other fun of this is that with a little effort you can find everything you need, including the basket, for under $15 a person. Tip: The toughest part for me was finding the sports bottle tops, but I bought them online from Dick's Sporting Goods.

IT'S PARTY TIME OH THE SUSPENSE

So, start the party with some lunch, maybe a couple healthy dishes like Jeff Mauro's Mini Veggie Burgers with Cuke Sauce and BBQ Kale Chips.

After the meal, prepare the table by laying down newspaper or paper bags at each place, to protect the tabletop. Give each person a pair of scissors and a needle big enough for sewing with yarn. Set out Gorilla Glue and clear packing tape to share. In advance you'll also need to prepare the labels you see below, have cookbook, sunglasses, and cell phone handy, and (optional) have a pet toy for each participant who owns a cat or small dog.

So, the girls had their baskets at the ready and it was time to be MacGyverettes!!!



PROJECT #1 - Cookbook Hanger

Get your guests stoked with with the easiest project of all. Tell them to grab their hangers, then take yours and show them how it works in your kitchen...

Yes, that's all there is to it, Blog! The hanger works great to suspend a lightweight cookbook or a recipe or two at whatever handy spot in your kitchen you choose. Wowzers.

PROJECT #2 - Refrigerator Clip / Pet Toy 

Glue the binder clip (I got these pretty ones at Target) to a nice, powerful magnet using Gorilla Glue. Set aside to dry...you'll be able to finish this project up in like a half an hour. The clip works to hang something from your fridge that doesn't hang too well by magnet alone, like thick cardboard.

While you're at the gluing, now's also the time to glue the sports bottle top to the CD, like you see in the photo. (Don't make the mistake we did and try this with superglue. Gorilla Glue is the only adhesive for this job, and make sure the seal is firm and tight all the way around the topper. No need to be neat!)

Back to the Refrigerator Clip: It also works great to attach a pet toy via a piece of the provided yarn, so it will dangle from the fridge door and provide kitties or pups with hours of fun. Man, did our Archie the Three-Legged Cat love it!

PROJECT #3 - Glasses Case

To do this project you'll need to have a rudimentary knowledge of sewing: enough to be able to thread a needle with yarn, tie a knot in the end, and whipstitch an edge. Take your sock, put your sunglasses inside, and trim down the cuff to the desirable length with your scissors.

Whipstitch the edge so it doesn't unravel. Ta-da, an easy case to protect sunglasses or reading glasses from getting scratched in your car, purse or drawer!

PROJECT #4 - Electronic Device Resuscitator

You may never use this thing, Blog, but if you ever have need of it, you'll be SO glad you kept it handy! Take your food saver container, and with clear packing tape apply the label (prepared in advance by the hostess, of course) to the lid. Put the other sock from your basket and the bag of kitty litter inside.

 

Heaven fore-fend you should ever get your phone, iPod, or other gadget wet (like when I dropped my continuous glucose monitor in the toilet)...but if you do, rush to this kit. Dry off the gadget, turn it off if still on, remove the battery, and put gadget and battery inside the sock. Fold it over securely. Dump the litter in the container, bury the sock in it, close the box and leave it overnight. The sock will keep the gadget dust-free, and the litter will absorb all the water. There is a decent chance your device, like my DexCom, will be revived after being reassembled and rebooted!

PROJECT #5 - Wine Glass Candelabra

Decorative gravel, votive candles, and wine glasses combine to make a lovely table decoration, as your guests will see in seconds! Just watch my sleight-of-hand:

Ta-da! Masterfully completed in nanoseconds and ready to inspire romance!

PROJECT #6 - CD Hovercraft

Yes, Blog, I said hovercraft. Let's go back to the sports bottle tops glued to the CDs, and get out our balloons. Simply make sure the top is pushed down (closed)...blow up the balloon and put it over the top securely...set it on a flat surface...and pull up on the top (without pulling off the balloon). Release and watch the fun! Especially if a cat is present!

OMG, what an awesome party this was! Now your guests can pack up their six way cool contrivances in their baskets and go home with new swag and a sense of cleverness and accomplishment! Thanks, Mr. MacGyver, for the inspiration!

And I bet you never heard of anything like this before, didja, Blog?

Sometimes I'm cranky especially at dorks like this

Blog, I'm the kind of person who can be livid and no one notices. I just seem way nice all the time, or at least mild-mannered. Nevertheless, I do get really mad, especially at incompetence. And what I call "incompetence" is sometimes stuff that no one else even notices, I'm sure. Here's an example...

I really hate it when people behind the wheel are oblivious to the needs of other drivers around them. Today I experienced a classic example of this during morning rush hour. Here's the scenario, Blog. There was this huge line in the left lane at the stoplight because everyone was needing, one intersection further on, to be on the left to enter the freeway. I decided rather than get in that long queue, what the heck, I would get in the middle lane. I kinda figured I'd be able to merge to the left in the short block before that freeway ramp.

Why did I figure this? Because there's always at least one dork who doesn't move forward. Either....

1. they feel that one must leave three car lengths when going 10 mph, or
2. they are putting on their makeup and need to finish the lipstick before pulling forward, or
3. they just don't watch for the light to change

It's 3 that really irks me. If you are in the all important position of watching for the green light, you owe it to the people behind you to initiate motion ASAP. Your dawdling could cost some person (like me) two minutes on their work time clock if the light goes red before their turn.

So, this morning, natch, there was one of these #3 dorks at the head of the line. Here's your aerial view, Blog:

I am SO glad I didn't get into the left lane.  Here's what happened:

So I got skips over like 25 cars.  And probably saved two sessions of lights worth of time. No harm to the waiting cars, that would have been unused empty space had I not gone ahead.  And who knows, Blog, it might have been my passing and moving into the left lane that tipped off Stupid Red Car to notice the light changed.

I gloated. I only wish there had been a way to transport that car to the end of the line.

People, people...when traffic is heavy and lights are short, get your car through as fast as you safely can. Some may think this is the raving of a Type A personality, but I just think it's courtesy. Right, Blog?

The Toast-Powered Cat Levitation Device

Blog, we all know about the mind-blowing paradox of what would happen if you affixed a piece of buttered toast on the back of a cat and then dropped said cat. Because there are two immutable principles in the Universe:

1. A cat always lands on its feet.

2. Toast always lands buttered-side down.

I am not the first to theorize that were you to strap toast to a cat, the only possible result would be that it would remain suspended in the air. Now, what if you were to also contrive headgear for said cat that would allow it, via brainwaves, to control the direction of the contradictory cat/toast forces?

Well, you would undoubtedly get something like this:

Today I built an experimental scale model of the Toast-Powered Cat Levitation Device, including Toast Pack and Control Headgear. Don't tell me this isn't just awesome. In case you are too stunned to believe your own eyes, look again:

Sure enough, it IS real, Blog! In an artificial sort of way! And theoretical! No doubt you are dying to know how you too can make your own T-PCLD, because that is the natural human response to these photos. Never fear, I am here to provide complete directions.

1. The next time you throw away an old calculator, be sure to do as I did: take it apart and save the clear plastic circuitry sheet. Because you just never know, do you? Ditto the weird green bottle top, scraps of aluminum and brass, odd hardware doohickeys, leather lacing, and copper wire.

2. While it is possible to do this with real toast and a real cat, remember you are making a scale model and resist the temptation. Find a cat Beanie Baby and open a seam to remove the beans. (Q: What color are the beans in a Beanie Baby? A: Pearly white. Or as Davie would reply, "Magic.") Replace the beans with fiberfill stuffing, and resew the open seam. You may also want to replace the lame thread whiskers with nice springy ones made from Tiger Tail type beading wire, as I did. And take off the Ty tag, it will interfere with the brain waves.

3. Make a piece of buttered toast from polymer clay. This requires ivory and brown clay, textured with a toothbrush and needles, then painted toasty with brown eyeshadow. Make a nice melty butter pat of light yellow, and be sure to paint the pat with Future for shininess after baking your clay toast.

4. For the Toast Pack, curve the brass sheet around the cat's body. Determine the spot above the cat's body + equipment. Remove sheet from cat and drill a hole at the spot with your Dremel tool. Affix the circuitry sheet with a little Super Glue at the edges. Wrap with the aluminum strip. String colorless thread, doubled, or fishing line through the hole, and tie to a piece of bent wire inside the device. Secure wire and thread with clear packing tape. Mount toast to top of Toast Pack with Gorilla Glue.

5. For the Headgear, curl the wire with round pliers and bend into scientifically appropriate shape. Leave a long end to stick inside bottle top, threading also through weird hardware, which should fit snugly on the bottle top tip. Bend end of wire under head bracket to hold bracked in place against bottle top. Pack inside of bottle top with foil to secure wire in position. Run leather lacing through holes in head bracket, pulling tight to hold bracket snugly against wire and bottle top.

6. Slip the cat, hind legs first, into the Toast Pack. Put Headgear on the cat's head and tie leather lacing to secure. Tie the other end of the colorless thread or fishing line to a strong magnet. Now you can hang the cat from iron or steel objects, or use a large steel washer and pinch a flat mounting object between magnet and washer. It's portable! Of course!

Then let your cat fly and watch the amazing results. Birds beware! Dog, pooh on you! Firemen, no need for those tree rescues! NASA, eat your heart out! Okay, so that was hyperbole.

Blog, don't you love science? It's so exciting.

So what if you don't know how?

Dear Blog, I’m sure you’ve been reading my recent posts and thinking, “Why can’t I dabble in hobbies for which I have no aptitude or training, like my pal Diana does?”

Well, there’s no reason why everyone can’t do like me and take wild stabs at things they’ve never done before. As long as there’s no danger involved to yourself and others (like dabbling in Air Traffic Control), what have you got to lose? There’s definitely a certain thrill to trying something absolutely new, even if you don’t prove to be a natural. (Like for example, I’ve not been hearing “Wow, Diana--I love ‘Living in Catmandu,’ it seems you’re a natural!”)

Worried about looking foolish, Blog? Well, the key to that is to be sure to publicize ahead of time that you realize you are going not going to win any gold medals for your attempt. The only way to really look foolish is to be blind to your own shortcomings. Kind of like ninety percent of the people who audition for network talent shows like “American Idol” or “So You Think You Can Dance.” Now if Julia Louis-Dreyfuss seriously auditioned Elaine-style for SYTYCD, that would look foolish.



But because we know she knows she sucks, we can’t get enough of watching her dance that way. See how it works?

Now Blog, I’m not only going to suggest this little scheme, but actually give you a boost. I’ll provide a couple of nifty examples you can try yourself!

Home Spa Treatment Concoctor

For what Bath & Body Works charges for its products, you’d think you have to have an advanced degree in chemistry to make that stuff. Sixteen bucks a jar? That’s expertise, right?

Well, actually, you can make stuff just as good. Fight the Man! The Home Spa Treatments Man is goin’ down! (Er, would it be ‘Woman’?) Anyway, all you need is some cheap generic olive oil (I use Roundy’s), and either some kosher salt or granulated sugar. If you want to feel even more like a skin chemistry pro, get some Vitamin E oil at a place like Walgreens. And if you don’t mind spending a bit more, get some essential oil in a fragrance you like.

Just mix the olive oil in a jar with enough sugar or salt to make it the consistency of super wet packing snow. Add a little Vitamin E (I put 6-8 drops in a 6 oz. batch) and a couple drops of the essential oil. That’s it! You feel all cool about your mad spa skilz AND you save money AND you get super smooth!

Flower Arranger

I have no training in the fine art of flower arranging (which is actually more complicated than you might think), but I’ve found the secret to doing it in a fashion that looks completely professional. Just copy a professional!

A couple years ago equally inept husband Davie and I went on an outing to Joann, to become pro flower designers. We looked through all their pre-made silk flower arrangements till we found the one we both liked best. Seeing as it was for sale at Joann, it was made totally out of elements you can buy at Joann. So we went around the store finding all the elements, then took them home and assembled them like the arrangement. And see how nice it turned out?

Never underestimate the wonders of copying, Blog. In fact, training at anything starts out as copying someone way better than you, whether the skill be extreme ice tunneling or making cakes that look like subatomic reactions. Actually, there may not be anyone around to copy yet in either of those fields, but you get my point.

You may find you actually have some hidden skill worth developing. Or you may just end up with a half-assed copy of someone else’s thing. But either way, it’s gonna be much less a waste of time than playing Peggle for two hours.

Yeah, I’ve done that. What? It’s Peggle, how can I help it?