The Magnificent Seven aka my all-male fantasy team

Blog, fans of my books know that I get a lot of inspiration from my celebrity crushes. I've also written elsewhere that oftentimes my fantasies feature a couple of guys vying for my attention (hey, if it can happen to Bella and Katniss, it can happen to me).

Well, nothing succeeds like excess, so I said to myself, "Why stop at two guys? Really, is there a limit to the number of attractive men you'd want vying for your attention?" Actually, Blog, there is: and the number is seven. More than that and a girl just can't keep track.

So, I put together my team of truly awesome celebrity crushes, all of whom have at various times been the stars of my daydreams, and voila...The Magnificent Seven. You may think of them as a Leverage-esque team (referring to the TNT show) that provides the various and sundry talents necessary for my complete range of romantic/adventurous scenarios. Or you may think of them in Jungian terms (referring to the developer of psychoanalytic theory), as various manifestation of my animus. Either way, they make a stunning group.

Let me introduce the Magnificent Seven:

The Mastermind: Sherlock Holmes (aka Benedict Cumberbatch of the BBC/Masterpiece show "Sherlock").

My most recent crush is on this enigmatic, charismatic genius, portrayed in the updated version as an expert in technology (i.e., really good at using a cell phone). As a British interpretation of the same literary character who inspired America's Dr. House, he is self-absorbed, egotistical, and manipulative, only with much more charm and refinement.

This is the kind of personality that (1) captivates you with his brilliance, and (2) makes a woman dream of taming him and improving his character. Blog, in my fantasy plots look for him to solve mysteries, attempt to hide his undying devotion to me, and run the operation by sheer egotism.

The Healer: Dr. James Wilson (aka Robert Sean Leonard, late of the show "House").

Wilson, who was the Dr. Watson-style sidekick to House, was the member of the team with heart and conscience. As a particularly nurturant character, he's long been the one I turned to in my fantasies when I needed comfort or relief. He's definitely a representative of the Knight in Shining Armor archetype, and every pantheon of dream men needs one of those.

Expect, Blog, that I run to Wilson when hurt, confused, or irritated at one of the other guys. I can endure the sexy capriciousness of Sherlock as long as I have Wilson to turn to.

The Science Geek: Jack Hodgins (aka T.J. Thyne, from the show "Bones").

Hodgins has been in my stable of fantasy men for awhile now--I just can't resist a guy who's good in the lab, particularly if he's funny and has curly hair. Perhaps he's more adorable than sexy, but adorable goes a long way. Hodgins is super smart but also a tenderhearted, nice guy.

Blog, watch for Hodgins to explain some of the universe's mysteries, provide comic relief, and be a true friend when I need a more lighthearted shoulder to cry on than Wilson's.

The Computer Geek: Harold Finch (aka Michael Emerson, from the show "Person of Interest").

Michael Emerson invaded my brain and heart while playing the role of Ben Linus on "Lost." While this newer character is not quite so powerful (largely because he's a good genius rather than an evil one), Michael is always captivating in any role. On "P of I" he acts almost as God, overseeing the entire population of New York City and intervening to protect the innocent from harm. That kind of stuff is great archetypal fodder for sure.

Mr. Finch will be serving a dual role as both introverted genius and guardian angel. He has the cred to be Mastermind himself were he not so private, so expect him to butt heads with Sherlock more than once.

The Musician: Christian (aka Christian Borle, Broadway star and Tom on the show "Smash").

In this case I'm having to invent a bit of a new character rather than just going with composer Tom Levitt, for the simple reason that Tom is gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I kind of need my romantic fantasy guys to like girls, that is, me. Plus it happens that Christian himself is a straight guy. Anyway, as a Broadway fan I just have to have a team member who can sing, act, play the piano, etc. To top it off, Christian is cute, sweet and funny.

Besides providing entertainment, Christian's role will be reminiscent of Tom's (and likewise that of Emmett, the romantic lead he played in "Legally Blonde"): he'll be a great counselor. I envision him providing tremendous support in a crisis as well as insightful day-to-day advice.

The Bodyguard: Eliot Spencer (aka Christian Kane, from the show "Leverage").

Yes, Blog, I stole him from the Leverage team. I find Eliot an absolutely marvelous character, because he may be the brawn of the operation (read: 99% invincible in a fight), but he's also really intelligent, sensitive, a little mysterious, and absolutely hilarious. He's got a spine of iron and is practically fearless, which I find extremely inspirational. But you can also count on him to take a stand for right, with strong but quiet determination.

Look for Eliot to be humorously annoyed by Sherlock but make friendships with the other low-key heroes: Wilson and Mr. Finch.

The Gentleman: Matthew Crawley (aka Dan Stevens, from the show "Downton Abbey").

Why does a woman need Matthew on the team? Other than the blue eyes, boyish good looks, and great accent? For pretty much the same reason why chicks always dig aristocratic British men from other periods (see also Mr. Darcy). Seriously though, Blog...Matthew is another white knight type who Does the Right Thing, albeit a flawed one. He's also a shining example of good manners and fine vocabulary. Any drama a person invents could use some of those elements, true?

Matthew will be cutting quite the romantic figure, I'm sure. And while he won't always agree with Sherlock's approach, they will share some aspects of British heritage and attitude, which is bound to create some fun.

Go team.

So, I've already "shot"--that is, imagined--the first two episodes of "The Magnificent Seven." in Ep 1:01, the boys arrived at my house, eyed each other with curiosity, and let Eliot tend bar (which I appreciated a lot because it left me free to ogle). In Ep. 1:02, Sherlock pronounced himself in charge and proceeded to look at each man and predict the role they would play in my life going forward. Believe you me, Blog, that inspired some priceless dialogue.

[Sidebar: I can do spot-on impersonations of voices in my imagination. I'm wondering if this is a common ability or if I'm weird in that way? Readers?]

I think one more solid episode like the first two, and the "network" will be ordering a full season.  

My Impossible Christmas List

Blog, in these days of high tech toys and other luxuries, a person needs to pause and consider the more elusive things we all wish for come this holiday time. No, I'm not talking about world peace, an end to hunger and homelessness, or other such altruistic dreams...I'm far too self-centered for that. I'm talking about that list of dream gifts that each of us has, items that even Santa couldn't bring to us because they're more or less impossible to hope for.

So, because I'm self-centered enough to think our readers might care, here's my personal Impossible Christmas List for 2010:

1.  That blue creature in the AT&T Windows phone commercials. He has beady eyes, tiny limbs, a fun mouth, and says "Wow-wow-wow. Wow." Neither does the Blue Guy exist in real life, there are no plush versions available for purchase. The best I can do is hope that the commercial remains available on YouTube forever so I can watch it occasionally to see my little pal. [Let's give a shout out to YouTube for existing, shall we?]

2.  A class at Greendale Community College taught by Dr. Linus. Imagine the good version of that oh-so-conflicted character from "Lost," Ben Linus, standing at the white board of some classroom you could share with Jeff, Abed, and the crew from "Community." At some point Abed would observe in his adorable deadpan, "This is a cross-network mashup of comedy and drama, I wonder if we should be funny or inscrutable." I would say, "This is a cross-network fantasy incorporating two of my TV dream guys, I wonder if I should flirt with Abed or Dr. Linus." [I am grateful though to have lived in the time of "Lost" and that "Community" did not get cancelled after one season.]

3.  Having said class be a course in my books called "Diana Laurence 101." Imagine Dr. Linus doing literary analysis on the stories in Soulful Sex: The Darker Side. Because that's one of my favorites and I wish romance readers everywhere had a copy. Dr. Linus would say, "Your assignment for tomorrow, class, is to read 'Kiss Me and Other Commands' and be prepared to talk about what you would do if you had Bix's powers." Neato, Blog. [Grateful though that I was able to write that book, because it was big fun.]

4.  A giant treehouse. I love trees. I love houses. I love treehouses. You're up high and there are leaves right outside your windows. I know it's not impossible to live in a treehouse... someone lives in this one. But as we are not willing to move out of Magic House and have almost no yard, there will not be a treehouse in our future, Blog. [Fortunately, Magic House is the next best thing to a treehouse, I think.]

5.  The NFL making a decision in the Brett Favre sexting case. Now this, apparently, really IS impossible, Blog. Still, I wish it could happen. [Thank heavens this happened with my arch-nemesis player rather than a hero... love ya, Guy Carbonneau!]

6.  Lots and lots of cats. Sadly, there is a limit to the reasonable number of cats a person can own if she lives indoors and not outside on a 100 acre ranch or something. I would love it if we could alter the space/time continuum so that I could adopt every cat that I see that is cute in perpetuity. Eventually I would own thousands of cats. I would need to work 300-hour weeks to make enough to house and feed said cats, which is why this item is on the Impossible Christmas List.[Happily, I only have to work a little bit to feed Cody, Alice and Selke. And I'm not allergic to cats which would be the saddest thing ever, Blog.]

7.  A food that tastes like chocolate covered potato chips but is the healthiest thing you can possibly eat. Or maybe like crullers. [Can I get a hell's-yeah for the invention of the cruller?]

8.  Working pancreases for diabetics everywhere. See, I can get altruistic, Blog! As one myself, I know how awesome it would be to wake up tomorrow with my functioning pancreas back. [Nevertheless, Navie my continuous glucose monitor is the next best thing, so hooray for him...and I wish diabetics everywhere could have one too.]

9.  The Swarovski crystal tiger only costing $34.95. I saw this tiger in Las Vegas and coveted it. It costs about $450.  Now Blog, you may be thinking, "Why not just put the tiger on the list?" Well first of all, that's not impossible. It just costs $450. I don't want myself or anyone paying the amount that could get you a nice flat-screen TV for a crystal tiger. I want the beautiful tiger to only cost $34.95, and then I'd buy it myself. [Happily, it costs me less than $450 to sponsor our live tiger, Kahn, for a year, and that comes guilt-free.]

10. All my blog followers and Facebook friends from around the world at Magic House for a fantastic party with my fabulous family. Blog, it's incredible how many people I've met on the interwebs have become great friends of mine, and how much I depend upon their comradeship and support on a daily basis. It would be swell to crank the Neverending Ubiquitous Patio Party Playlist on my iPod, crack open the bounteous Magic House bar, and host the whole gang face-to-face.

However, I do have an iPod (new this year), a bounteous bar, all those fantastic friends, and that fabulous family. So even if I can't have the stuff on my Impossible Christmas List, I don't have a single complaint.

A dream of Ben, a spark of creativity

Blog, I'm here today to fulfill the A Creative Dreamer's July Creative Challenge, and let me waste no time in sharing my contribution.  First look at it...and then let me explain:

Is it an "art"? Is it a "craft"? Does it really qualify?  And what the heck is the story here?

Let us begin at the beginning, Blog.  The theme of this month's challenge is, simply, "Dream." And I have to say, that's one mighty broad category.  I've been struggling since the theme was announced to figure out where to go with it.  Some "dreamy" piece of beaded jewelry?  Some work in polyclay somehow expressing the topic?  I couldn't come up with anything that really inspired me.

Then a couple of nights ago, I was treated to one of those really vivid dreams about romance that I am fortunate to have a couple times a year.  Even though I haven't thought a whole lot about Benjamin Linus since "Lost" aired its series finale, he was the star of this dream. 

I know I have more than a few readers who understand how such a thing could have happened.

I've blogged a lot in the past about the strange but affective appeal of Michael Emerson's portrayal of this conflicted, engaging character.  There are lots of aspects of Ben Linus that strike a chord with this or that female (perhaps this or that male as well).  In my dream, Ben was more like his "off island" self, the wise and kind high school teacher, Dr. Linus.  He was some sort of college professor, and I was his intern or teaching assistant, and there was this unspoken chemistry between us.  I found myself totally, profoundly smitten with him...and much to my joy, I came to believe my feelings were returned, even though no words to that effect were expressed.

I woke up from this dream pretty dang happy.  I think if I could have dreams like that at will, I'd never get out of bed.  And within a day's time, it occurred to me that somehow I had to celebrate this dream for the Creative Challenge.

In my book Living Beyond Reality: A Jungian Primer for Enhancing Your Life I talk a lot about the animus, a sort of embodiment of our desires that can manifest itself in celebrity crushes.  I discuss ways to tap into or connect with that "spirit," including writing about the personalities that so strongly attract the soul.  I also mention another approach that I've found effective, and that's to draw or paint or otherwise focus on the physical image of the animus-bearing person.

Creating this digital art of Professor Linus was that sort of exercise, complimented by my little bit of free verse explaining what the portrait signifies to me.  Doing it, I did revive some emotions I had felt in my dream.  Which I assure you, Blog, was quite fun.

Meanwhile, it's a bit of a nutshell expression of my belief that if you are infatuated with an imaginary person, then real or not, that person matters.  The importance is not really the actual celebrity or character, but rather what he signifies to you and your psyche.  So there you go.

But does this digital art--a little interpretive Photoshopping and graphic design--constitute a creative craft?  All I know is, it most certainly served as a creative way of celebrating the theme of "dream."

Well, Blog, I hope I explained myself okay in this post!  At any rate, I was probably more successful than I've ever been at explaining to my husband why I'm attracted to Ben Linus...

The sexiness of genius

Some girls go for sexy pecs and six-pack abs. Me, Blog? I’m turned on by IQ.

Nothing else could possibly explain my attraction to Sheldon from “The Big Bang Theory,” who is nerdier than a game room at ComicCon. Okay, I admit I’m not exactly having fantasies about the guy, but I do adore him and could listen to him talk all day.

Likewise, I will forgive Dr. House anything even though he is more cruel and insensitive than a roomful of BP execs. Okay, even he is not that bad. But he can get away with bad behavior because when no one else has a clue how to save a life, House always knows.

There’s nothing like extreme genius to get this girl’s heart palpitating. When I began reading Neil Gaiman’s work it was his brilliant intellect as much as his writing style that awed me. (The illustration here is a portrait I did of him.) Musician Jonathan Coulton writes great songs, but it’s the fact that his lyrics are about DNA and the Mandelbrot Set that really turns me on. Grant Imahara on “Mythbusters” is a cutie, but it’s because he can build a robot that can do anything his crazy bosses want is why I’m smitten with him.

Back when I split with my first husband and found myself back in the dating pool, I hooked up with a guy who was a one-way ticket to irresponsible behavior. If you’re me, that is. He was physically totally my type, was a musician who played guitar and had a gorgeous voice, and probably had the highest IQ of anyone I’ve even known personally. I think I could have dealt with Factors A and B if not for Factor C. It was very hard for me to turn away from someone that smart; sure he was bad for me in a half dozen ways, but when was I going to have a romantic shot again at someone so uberintelligent?

So, Blog, this enlightens you a tad more regarding yesterday’s confessed attraction to Dr. Hodgins from “Bones.” This geniusophilia of mine is a recurring thing, I assure you. Other crushes I’ve had in this category would include Sting (he’s not just another pretty face who specializes in tantric sex, Blog), Ben Linus (diabolical genius), Harlan Ellison (SF author I loved as a teen), Klaatu (brilliant space alien), and my high school trig teacher.

Have I ever written about any super-smart guys in my romances? Is the Pope Catholic, Blog? For starters, a couple of the protagonists in two of my favorite stories ever appear in Soulful Sex: The Darker Side. There’s the title character in “Dr. Chambliss,” who is pretty much the academic equivalent of House. And there’s also Riley Madsen, from “The Poet,” the world’s first rock star poet. The mysterious genius Eric in “Fantastic Toys” in Soulful Sex Volume II is also in this category. And there’s Sadhil Narayan, the brilliant filmmaker in my award-winning story “Alloy Love” from Soulful Sex: The Science Fiction Collection, whom you see in the portrait.

Just thinking about these guys makes me all quivery, Blog. Oh stop it, just because you’re a disembodied anthropomorphized being with a masculine vibe doesn’t give you the right to smirk!

Is there anyone else out there smitten with smarties? Any other nominees for high-IQ hotties? Hit us in the comments. Oh, and the hot links you see in this post go to entries on my old Erotica with Sex blog where I talk about said celebrity crushes, so if you’re into any of these peeps, click away for more rhapsodizing.

Stuff I bizarradore, Volume 3

Blog, you remember how Julie Andrews tells us when we're sad, we should think about our favorite things, right?  Well, today is therefore a good day for bizzaradores, because the series finale of Lost left me feeling pretty dang blue.  Not sayin' I didn't love it, 'cause I sure did.  Just sayin', well...Big Fat Sigh.  So, without further ado, some nice, cheering stuff I bizarradore:

Hockey player toughness

Yesterday was hardly a total bummer, Blog.  While we lost a favorite TV series, we gained an NHL Western Conference Champion.  The Magic House fave hockey team, the Chicago Blackhawks, swept the San Jose Sharks in four games to earn a berth in the Stanley Cup finals for the first time in 18 years.  (The last time they won the Cup, Davie was 11 days old.)  One of the game's heroes was Duncan Keith, who besides having one of the most awesome names ever, is probably the team's best defenseman.  Duncan got hit in the face by a puck and lost seven teeth, one of which he almost choked on.  He missed seven minutes of the game.  Only seven minutes.  Only in hockey do you see that kind of pain tolerance and dedication.  Read how nonchalant Duncan was about it all on this hilarious report from the Chicago Sun-Times.

People who read the blog even when there are plenty of other things to be doing

I spent an inordinate about of time on yesterday's post, Blog, when I should have known it was a beautiful May Sunday when the last thing the twelve people who read this blog would feel like devoting time to.  (Oy, I've ended two sentences with prepositions in this post...I really am losing it.)  So I wanted to give a shout out to those devoted fans and followers who actually read our terribly non-insightful ravings on days like that.  Free cuddles with Cody to any one of you anytime you show up at Magic House.

Tiny food

In my perusings as a polymer clay artist, I occasionally come upon one of those groovy people who specialize in tiny, doll-size food. Sometimes I really can't believe their talent. Take, for example, these ridonkulously perfect itty bitty cheeses and crackers. You know the artist has done well when you really, really want to eat the lilliputian stuff. You can see more mini-foods here.

Matthew Morrison singing the national anthem

I'm not sure that in his role as Mr. Schue on "Glee," Matt is getting to show off the full range of awesomeness of which his pipes are capable.  (See, I managed to not end with a prepo there, Blog.  And total awkwardness ensued.)  However, in this anthem sing from the Mets/Yankees game, you get the drift.  Wow.  Is it unpatriotic to want to swoon over "The Star Spangled Banner"?



Pizza with fig spread, prosciutto and gorgonzola

This was the treat daughter Manzi and boyfriend Nate prepared for our Lost Finale gathering of three, and it was so yummy it really soothed the sting of the occasion.  Our readers can whip it up themselves easily:  just a thin coat of fig spread on a pre-crisped thin crust, topped with bits of prosciutto and crumbles of gorgonzola, then baked a bit more to melt the cheese.

Ben Linus

I've said it before, I'll say it again, and I certainly must say it the day after bidding him farewell:  I love Ben.  He's so much more than just the most beat-up character in TV history.  He's so easy to love as well as to fear, hate, pity and lust after.  (I don't give a crap about that prepo, Blog--I'm in mourning, gol' dang it!)  How did you manage that, Lost writers Damon and Carlton?  How can you be so amazing, Michael Emerson?  How am I going to get along with you, Benjamin Linus? 

Okay, Blog, okay...I'm not going to cry again, here.  Ben and his fellow Losties will live on in our hearts 4evah, and that's what really matters.  Let's sing another rousing chorus of "Here Come the Hawks" and keep those chins held high!

TV Mash-Up Party!

Blog, in honor of starting a fresh new week, I thought why not have a party? Just because it’s Monday we shouldn’t be festive? Hells no. So, in the great tradition of our fabulous mash-up parties, today we’re going to do TV show mash-ups! Wahoo!

Grab some cheese puffs and an amaretto stone sour, Blog, and listen to how we play: Imagine combining two TV shows as disparate in theme as possible, and write a fun episode description for the ensuing result. Upload to the online guide of your favorite cable or satellite TV affiliate and enjoy! Well, unless you’re a hacker of supreme skills, you’ll have to skip that last part. We’ll start with Davie’s idea (which started it all, so blame him), and take it from there.

“House Hunters” / “V”

Tyler and Lisa elect to join the “Live Aboard Program” and find a place together on the Visitors’ Mother Ship. Will they find a home with all the amenities they’re looking for?

“So You Think You Can Dance” / “Kate Plus Eight”

Auditions for the Top 20 continue; fresh off her gig on “Dancing with the Stars,” Kate Gosselin coaches the twins and sextuplets in the hopes they can flout the age requirement and compete.

“Clean House” / “American Pickers”

Niecy and the gang find a couple in rural Oklahoma whose marriage is collapsing under the weight of their hoarding of bicycles and oil cans. Mike and Frank intervene in the nick of time by buying their entire yard sale.

“Mythbusters” / “True Blood”

Adam and Jamie test the myth that a shapeshifter of average human size can turn himself into a fly; the Build Team experiments with how much vampire blood is safe to use to cure a gunshot wound.

“Breaking Bad” / “Bobby Flay Throwdown”

Bobby takes on the expert team of Walter White and Jesse Pinkman to determine who can cook the best crystal meth. Can he concoct a recipe that will please like the boys’ “blue meth”?

“Glee” / “Law and Order”

Mr. Schue takes the glee club on a field trip to Broadway, only to find them mixed up in the investigation of who was responsible for axing a famous crime show. The kids perform covers of Jerry Orbach’s hits including “Try to Remember” and “Lullaby of Broadway.”

“HDTV’s Design Star” / “Deadliest Catch”

The contestants have three days to do complete makeovers on the crab boats, while the deadly waters of the Bering Sea and wildly conflicting tastes of the captains threaten the survival of décor and designers alike.

“House” / “Ace of Cakes”

The Charm City Cakes crew is bummed when Duff succumbs to a mysterious disease that makes him gobble gum paste. House suddenly realizes the cause while making cracks about Geoff’s amazing Princeton Plainsboro Hospital cake.

“Holmes on Homes” / “Lie to Me”

When Mike Holmes recruits the services of the Lightman Group to help naïve Canadian homeowners, Cal helps a retired schoolteacher prove faulty insulation led to the death of her schnauzer.

“Mad Men” / “Lost” / “30 Rock”

Don Draper’s secret past as Dick Whitman is threatened when Jacob travels back to 1963 to urge him to admit his life is a lie. Ben turns the donkey wheel and the resulting time disruption propels Don to an alternative timeline in 2010 where he is now a handsome but dopey pediatrician named Drew Baird.

C’mon, readers, join in the TV mash-up party! We know you have an idea or two, so share them in the comments. Or challenge Blog and I to link your two fave shows in an awesome mash-up!

MAY 25 UPDATE

Glad to see Brewster Rockit is getting in on the TV mash-up fun:

Why "Lost" may be the best TV show ever

Sadly, Blog, in a mere couple of weeks we must say farewell to the Island and its beloved residents after six seasons of gripping stories. And with only four hours and some minutes left, I am inspired to join hundreds/thousands of other people who are reflecting upon the experience of watching this unique TV series.

My comments are made from the point of view of what I am: a storyteller. As such I tend to look for, above all, good plots and character development. And in those categories I am hard pressed to come up with a show that exceeds the levels achieved by Lost. I could name you twenty shows I’ve possibly enjoyed as much, entertainment-wise, over the years. But Lost stands above the rest simply because no other show has tried to do what this one did.

What do I mean? Well, let’s start with the fact that with the series finale only two episodes away, not only do I not have the slightest clue how the show will end, I don’t even know what sort of ending it will be. Typically the end of a story comes down to a couple possibilities. Will the protagonist survive/win true love/achieve his goal/save the day? Normally the question is yes or no, with some suspense as to just how the yes or no will come about.

But Lost is not like any story told on television before. While the survival of the characters is indeed a key question, just as much at issue is the very meaning of everything that has happened to them. The story to date has posed immense philosophical questions about good and evil, fate and free will, life and death. These are not simple issues and, in my opinion, the questions cannot be answered in a clean, factual, standard fashion. The answers are metaphysical ones, undoubtedly best addressed symbolically or mythically, in the manner of Greek philosophy, Carl Jung, and Joseph Campbell. And I’m quite confident that’s how they will be presented, whatever answers they turn out to be.

Since when does TV attempt to be so ambitious? Hasn’t it always been true that the “Boob Tube” goes for the lowest common denominator, especially when seeking broad appeal? If you were in program management at ABC, would you greenlight a show that explores the deepest secrets of the universe using elements like allegory, secret code, storylines that play havoc with the space/time continuum, concepts from quantum physics, and the complex details of the entire lives of a couple dozen characters?

Nevertheless, that is exactly what Lost has done, and in the process it has become wildly popular and the object of cultish devotion the likes of which we haven’t seen since “Twin Peaks.” It arrived on the scene at the perfect time, just when the idea was catching on that you could supplement TV programming with online enhancements, and just when social media took the place of the office water cooler. The “Lost viewing experience” became a multi-faceted form of entertainment that engaged the imagination like nothing before.

Well, Blog, I say all this is well and good, but to me it’s still all about storytelling. And that to me is this show’s long suit and the bottom-line reason why it will never be forgotten. From the very first episode, which I and many people expected to be “X-Files” meets “Castaway,” the excitement driven by paranormal phenomena and the challenge of survival, Lost quickly proved to be another animal entirely. Its innovative flashbacks focused on telling the individual stories of very large stable of main characters, and each character was unique and fascinating. The mysteries of the Island unfolded bit by bit, but meanwhile we spent an amazing amount of time off the Island, dabbling in the far-flung lives of this intriguing bunch.

The writers of the show did a consistently good job of avoiding clichés. The characters were archetypal (Jack, the group’s shepherd, Sawyer, the scoundrel with good heart, etc.), which is always helpful to meaningful storytelling, but they were never predictable. Best case in point is my favorite character, Ben Linus, who has managed throughout the show’s history to walk a fine line between uber-villain and antihero. How is it possible that we are rooting for a man who committed genocide? And yet he has served as a Good Guy many times and the story of his childhood was painfully poignant. To me he is easily among television’s most complex and compelling characters.

And a case could be likewise made for so many of Lost’s alumni: John Locke, Kate, Sayid, Jack, Sawyer, Hurley, Claire, Charlie, Desmond, and the list goes on. Meanwhile, few shows can boast of such an arsenal of secondary (and even tertiary) characters who truly won our hearts: people like Juliet, Penny, Richard, Daniel, Libby, Miles, Jacob, Dogen, Lapidus, and of course Rose and Bernard. The importance of even the most short-lived character to the viewers is demonstrated by the delight we've experienced as each of them reappeared in the “Sideways” timeline.

And speaking of timelines, how improbable is it that a TV show could succeed with concurrent and sometimes intersecting timelines in present day, the 70s, and an alternate present day? Viewers were certainly confused at times, but not so much that we didn’t enjoy the complexity. Because yet another brilliant talent of the writers was to make this story interesting whether you picked it up halfway through, didn’t follow half the symbolisms and internal references, or put in the effort to figure out every little detail.

I’ve been picking up on the puzzlement of non-Lost viewers as to why we fans are agonizing so much over its imminent conclusion. I hear “My favorite shows have ended before, what’s the big deal with Lost fans?” I’ll attempt to address that question, Blog.

Part of the big deal is that we have been very intimately involved with the Losties, Tailies, Others, Dharma-ites, etc., and the nature of the show has made them more vivid than typical TV characters. It was hard saying goodbye to each Star Trek crew over the years, but it’s not as if we got to see glimpses of their childhoods, struggling marriages, family turmoil, and the very darkest hearts of their conflicted souls. When “Friends” packed it in we waved goodbye to some likeable people whose adventures we’d shared. But on Lost, we’ve spent these six years coming to terms with the cast’s deepest struggles and sharing in their efforts to make sense of life itself.

We’ve also been part of a complex, detailed world chock-full of mysteries and magic, meaning and revelation. Along the way we haven’t been mere observers: we’ve also asked ourselves, very seriously, the same questions the Losties have asked. Why are we here? What does it all mean? Do my choices matter? Is it worth it to side with Good? And what’s going to happen in the end?

Which leads me, Blog, to why the end of this show is such a big deal. Sure, facing TV series finales, we always ask “What’s going to happen in the end?” The thing is, this time we’re really hoping that “the end” will tell us something truly meaningful about “the real end.” Before you accuse me of making television into religion, let me complete my point. Throughout the show, the writers have drawn upon the thoughts of many wise human philosophers, clerics, and scientists. Through the story they’ve explored the key questions that have plagued our species for millennia. Whatever the ultimate answers are on Lost, they will simply be a fresh look, a new interpretation of very ancient ideas, genuine glimpses of the Truth that, in all likelihood, the human mind cannot grasp in its entirety.

All this on a weekly television drama series. Forgive me if I must compare this kind of epic storytelling to the classic works of Homer and Shakespeare. And the fact that television dared to aspire to this level is something we ought to recognize and celebrate. Lost has not been without flaw--it really ran off the rails the first half of the third season, but the writers heeded criticism and turned the remaining three and a half years into a beautifully scripted, captivating saga. Not every episode has been stellar, not every character perfectly-conceived and executed. But the aspirations of the show were so high and so often attained, it’s absolutely remarkable.

Blog, I’m taking an entire box of Kleenex with me for the finale. I’ll be weeping to say goodbye to some very dear friends, none of whom may survive the conclusion. I’ll be weeping at the loss of some of the finest entertainment I’ve enjoyed in my life. And I’ll be weeping at the possibility that it will be a very long time before this caliber of storytelling is seen on television again.

Kudos and thanks to creators Damon Lindelof, J. J. Abrams and Jeffrey Lieber, additional executive producers Bryan Burk, Jack Bender, Edward Kitsis, Adam Horowitz, Jean Higgins, Elizabeth Sarnoff and Carlton Cuse, ABC Studios, Bad Robot Productions and Grass Skirt Productions, and the incredible cast and crew of Lost. I’m quite confident your creation with never be forgotten.

How to have a Favorites Day

Blog, everyone occasionally needs a “spa day” or “mental health day” when they treat themselves to some treats. Me being the sort of person who indulges in a “Birthday Week” (or sometimes even “Birthday Fortnight”) every year, I condone treating yourself well for any reason you can devise.

So, if you’ve been having a hard week at work, just got bad news, or are simply bored, I recommend having yourself a Favorites Day. And I’m here today to give very specific instructions on how to do just that. Blog, prepare to take notes. Wait...you are notes. Well then, let’s begin.

Your Favorite Outfit: Start by dressing the part. That may mean wearing something you look really good in, something you’re really comfortable in, or something that just feels fun, like your pirate outfit.

Your Favorite Food/Drinks: Be sure to plan to make your eating and drinking for the day a little special. Ideas: put real cream in your coffee instead of the powdered stuff; have drinks or dinner at a favorite bar or restaurant; get yourself a bakery treat for dessert; if you hate to cook, make microwavable meals all day; if you love to cook, do a gourmet meal with new recipes.

Your Favorite Thing to Look at: This is the day to put a photo of your favorite celebrity crush on your computer wallpaper or in a frame on the table next to your lounge chair. Or do likewise, subbing your grandkids, the car you wish you owned, or your fave vacation spot.

Your Favorite Music: Listen to your absolute favorite CDs or iPod playlist. Have a few songs you’ve been craving but haven’t gotten yet? Today’s the day to spend a few bucks on iTunes.

Your Favorite Special Indulgence: Treat yourself to some flowers, a six pack of your favorite microbrew, a chocolate bar, a bubble bath. Think of the most luxurious thing you can afford to treat yourself to and go for it.

Your Favorite Things to Do: Watch an old favorite movie or see a new one; work on a beloved type of craft project; go golfing; reread a great book; shop for shoes; or just lay around watching HGTV.

Your Favorite Things to Not Do: Don’t forget going from the reverse angle. This may be the day to not get up early, not do your workout, not go to work, not do chores, not answer your phone and/or email.

Your Favorite Thing You Forgot You Even Liked: Think creatively here. You may remember a place in town once where you took a walk once that was really pretty--visit there again. Or a store you saw once that you didn’t have time to go in--now’s the time! How about playing an old favorite game you loved? Trivial Pursuit maybe? Or call up a friend you haven’t thought about in awhile but actually really miss.

Your Favorite Person/People: Recruit the participation of a loved one or great friends. I mean, who’s going to turn you down when you say “I’m doing a Favorite Things Day for myself so naturally I thought of you”?

Don’t Forget the Cherry on Top: The cherry on top is up to you, but pick one thing about your day that is going to be the best of all. Perhaps everything else you do during the day is free, but put one splurgy item in, like a martini at an outdoor bar you love. Or make one of the other elements I’ve talked about really special: like making your dinner out be with your mate at the place where you had your first date. Big or small, make the Cherry something that really gets your heart racing in anticipation and will make a fond memory for sure.

The key to making a great Favorites Day is not money, Blog, it’s thought and planning. If you sit down with yourself and figure out all the little things that can add up to a day of total fun--building in a little flexibility, as life does throw curves at a person--and then really do it all, it could be quite the day.

In fact, it sounds so good to me, I think one of these days I will have one! So you thought I knew what I was talking about here, Blog? Nope, all sheer speculation. I’ll let you know what happens when I try it out. And readers, if you try it out, let me know!

My Breakup

Dear Blog, I know we’ve just met, but I honestly feel like we are going to be good for each other. Way more so than my last blog. Yes, the breakup is final.

It may just be the thrill of a new love, untainted by the contempt that familiarity can breed, but I already feel I’ve made the right choice. Old Blog was not fulfilling me anymore, I’m afraid. I’m not saying we can’t still be friends, even visit each other occasionally, but that relationship was getting just too limiting.

Limiting how, you ask? Well, Blog, a lot of it was my fault. Being the Marketing Babe that I am, I felt a heavy responsibility to talk about things on Old Blog that I thought had fairly broad appeal. I was always second-guessing whether something interesting to me would have any relevance to anyone else. That’s pretty inhibiting, especially for people like me who are so often interested in things with little relevance to anyone else.

Like making jewelry that looks like olives!

See what I mean, Blog? With you I am free to do things I could never do with my ex! I just love you for that! And in a corollary vein, with that blog I also felt that horrible obligation to Stay on Topic. The topic being, “Erotica with Soul.” Hey, I love discussing love, sex and romance as much as the next person (unless the next person is Tiger Woods, erg, sorry, new blog is not license for bad jokes). But sometimes I just want to talk about something random.

Like this Sky Mall Kitties video with which I am currently obsessed!!!



See, Blog? You actually let me post Sky Mall Kitties! Is there nothing that you aren’t willing to let me share with you? Wow. I’m so thrilled.

I can see I’m going to get to discuss on this blog all the sorts of things I’ve been repressing for the past five years that I spent with my ex. Things like the stuffed lion collection I keep in my office. Or how I made bacon vodka. Or how I heard about ChatRoulette for the first time from my 84-year-old technologically savvy dad. Or why I can’t get enough of Benjamin Linus.

Okay, yeah, I talked about that on Erotica with Soul. Hey, I’m not saying I will never talk about love, sex and romance again. It’s just so liberating that I don’t have to! I still love writing romantic stories and I’m sure I will again soon enough, but the intensity of last year took a bit of a toll. (I published five books including that “worldwide sensation” How to Catch and Keep a Vampire, all while holding down my day job.)

Say, Blog, I bet you’re wondering why didn’t I take advantage of this opportunity to come up with some really creative name for you. Well, I’m afraid the Marketing Babe in me is not totally dead, and the Equivalent Dollar Value of Internet Prestige Rating (EDVIPR) for “Diana Laurence” is currently $12,357.68. So that’s why.

[Want to know the value of your blog name? Visit http://www.edvipr.com/ to find out. Or don't, since I completely made all this up.]

Anyway, being an eclectic person (you know someone else who makes jewelry that looks like olives, Blog?), I just want the chance to express myself in a broader variety of ways. You know, by gesticulating wildly, finger painting with soup, singing Sky Mall Kitties over and over and over, and so on.

And you, dear Blog, are giving me that chance. For this I love you forever! Well, probably for at least five years as that seems to be a normal cycle for me. I wrote the Hockey Snacks ezine for five years, I was with my ex-blog for five years, I’ve been obsessed with Ben Linus for five years...wait, is he coming due? I want to renew Ben Linus please!!!

I digress. But wait a tick! With you, new Blog, there is NO SUCH THING AS DIGRESSING! Oh sweet freedom! I can’t wait to post to you again, my wonderful BFFY (Blog for Future Five Years). And who knows what my topic shall be? (Hint: Broadway musicals, and if that topic bores anyone, tough. Blog will find it fascinating, just like every other dumb and useless thing I have to say!)

P.S.: I also intend to get way more creative with the tags, like cool people like Neil Gaiman and my daughter Katie do. Let’s see, I think I’ll tag this post not only with “cat videos,” “EDVIPR” and “Ben Linus” but also “bacon vodka.” Done.