You're the Top!

Blog, I've been having a busy week that hasn't always gone right.  And when not everything goes right, it's time to think of something you really bizarradore!  I double dog dare you NOT to bizarradore the Cole Porter song "You're the Top." 

The words, the tune, the sentiments of two people trying to one-up each other in their compliments--how can you not be cheered by this song?  It was written in 1934 for the Broadway musical "Anything Goes," and my fave version was performed by Patti Lupone and Howard McGillin in the 1987 Broadway revival.  Just click the You Tube thingy for audio and then follow along with the smashing lyrics below....

At words poetic, I'm so pathetic
That I always have found it best,
Instead of getting 'em off my chest,
To let 'em rest unexpressed.
I hate parading my serenading
As I'll probably miss a bar,
But if this ditty is not so pretty
At least it'll tell you how great you are.

You're the top!
You're the Coliseum.
You're the top!
You're the Louvre Museum.
You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss.
You're a Bendel bonnet,
A Shakespeare sonnet,
You're Mickey Mouse.
You're the Nile,
You're the Tower of Pisa,
You're the smile on the Mona Lisa.
I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop,
But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!

Your words poetic are not pathetic.
On the other hand, babe, you shine,
And I can feel after every line
A thrill divine
Down my spine.
Now gifted humans like Vincent Youmans
Might think that your song is bad,
But I got a notion
I'll second the motion
And this is what I'm going to add:

You're the top!
You're Mahatma Gandhi.
You're the top!
You're Napoleon Brandy.
You're the purple light
Of a summer night in Spain,
You're the National Gallery
You're Garbo's salary,
You're cellophane.
You're sublime,
You're turkey dinner,
You're the time of the Derby winner.
I'm a toy balloon that’s fated soon to pop.
But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

You're the top!
You're an Arrow collar.
You're the top!
You're a Coolidge dollar.
You're the nimble tread
Of the feet of Fred Astaire,
You're an O'Neill drama,

You're Whistler's mama!

You're camembert.

You're a rose,
You're Inferno's Dante,

You're the nose
On the great Durante.
I'm just in the way,
As the French would say, "de trop."
But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

You're the top!
You're a dance in Bali.
You're the top!
You're a hot tamale.
You're an angel, you,
Simply too, too, too diveen,
You're a Boticcelli,
You're Keats,

You're Shelly!

You're Ovaltine!
You're a boom.
You're the dam at Boulder.
You're the moon,
Over Mae West's shoulder.
I'm a nominee of the G.O.P.

Or GOP!

But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

You're the top!
You're a Waldorf salad.
You're the top!
You're a Berlin ballad.
You're the boats that glide
On the sleepy Zuider Zee,
You're an old Dutch master.

You're Lady Astor!

You're broccoli!
You're romance.
You're the steppes of Russia.
You're the pants on a Roxy usher.
I'm a broken doll, a fol-de-rol, a blop.
But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

So, so fun, Blog!  Get out your tap shoes!  Oh, I suppose a non-corporeal anthropomorphized being might not own tap shoes.  Oh well...  I only wish there was a visual of Patti and Howard performing on Broadway, but in lieu of that, here's a video that's not too shabby in its own right.  It's Cary Grant and Ginny Simms performing a shorter version of "You're the Top" in the 1946 film "Night and Day."

Now, if you aren't as ancient as I am and are stumped by a few of the references in the song, the folks at Wikipedia have been kind enough to link to info on everything mentioned (including a few things from other versions).

So, Blog and readers, if you're looking for a way to brighten your day, tell a friend "You're the top!"  Or, try writing your own verse like I did here, proclaiming what I think about YOU!

You're the top!

You're a fresh-baked cruller.
You're the top!
You're a Bromstad color.
You're a secret code in an episode of Lost.
You're an Idol winner,
A Chef Flay dinner,
You're permafrost.
You're the Thing,
You're a cute-faced LOLcat,
You're the swing of a hot baseball bat.
I'm a hopeless drip, a plop that just won't stop,
But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!

You know, that's not as easy as it looks, Blog....

Bizarradore Mash-Up Day

Blog, I am sitting here at home waiting for Milwaukee Water Works to shut off the water main, so Bobby the Plumber can repair our broken water valve.  In the meantime, no H2O.  I can think of no better way to cheer myself up than to combine the awesome concepts of bizarradore and mash-up, making an even more awesome concept, the Bizarradore Mash-up!

First up, let's combine Easter Island Heads (which are endlessly entertaining)

with eclipses!

No, not THAT kind of eclipse.  I mean when the moon blocks the sun and stuff.  Resulting mash-up:

This gorgeous photo brought to you by Astronomy Picture of the Day.  You should subscribe, it's fantastic!

I feel a little better already, Blog.

Now for a never-fail bizarradore mash-up.  Of course I bizarradore funny pictures of cats.  And likewise, I adore putting stuff on the heads of cats.  So of course life is even better when you have several funny pictures of a cat with stuff on its head!

From the awesome folks at ICanHasCheezburger.  Again, you should read it daily, like Blog and I do.  [ADDENDUM the next day:  For a ridonkulous number of fabulous pictures of this cat with stuff on its head, see this composite. Don't forget to click enlarge if your browser requires it!]

And lastly, what modern artist is more amazing than M.C. Escher...

Meanwhile, what toy is cooler than Legos:

Therefore, your head just might explode from this:

Now that is button.  But wait, there's more!  Let's mash-up the concept above with something even awesomer, like SPACE!  Then the result is this!!!

An Escher-style Lego space station!  It's the work of Alex Eylar aka Profound Whatever, publicized by Lego fans The Brothers Brick, and brought to my attention by the fab blog Great White Snark, which you should read daily for no other reason than that it has one of the coolest blog names ever.  Except of course for you, Blog.

Wow, thanks to the Interwebs, we have had a very day-brightening experience with this Bizarradore Mash-up.  Randometer is happy, Blog is happy, I am happy...and I hope you're a little happier too.

Let's share the covers

Blog, I think the Randometer will appreciate that today I am randomly posting on the subject of song covers. Why? I guess I was thinking how much I like covers as a concept. I mean, you start with a great song and then find a cool way to reinterpret it. That just makes for yet another great song!  What's not to bizarradore about that?

To see my love of covers, all you have to do is look at the contents of Ipo my iPod. Like I have “Jump” by Van Halen and “Jump” by the cast of Glee. I even like it when the same artist as the original artist does it. Like Ipo has both the original of Bryan Adams’ “Heaven” and the acoustic version he did for MTV.

For some reason I find it uber-cool to take a song and preserve the basics of it, but transform it into a whole new sound. One easy way to do that is simply to have a person of the other gender record it. I think Joan Jett and the Blackhearts may have actually topped Tommy James and the Shondells when in 1981 they revamped the 1969 hit “Crimson and Clover.” I’m sorry, but the hotness factor went way up. If you don’t believe me, watch the video:



A similar thing happened in what I think has to be one of the best covers ever, the Bangles 1987 re-do of Simon and Garfunkel’s 1968 hit “Hazy Shade of Winter.” Well, that happens to be my favorite S&G song in the first place. So it just shows if you take a fabulous song and use the tools of your generation’s music to make it your own, great results occur. Start with the original:



And check out the Bangles:



Sometimes it works to take a song and give it a completely new spin, and both the Randometer and I love it when that happens, Blog. I had the fun of thinking about that quite a bit when I wrote my novel Looking on Darkness. One of the characters is a jazz singer who likes to do crazy covers. For example, in one scene she performs Norman Greenbaum’s “Spirit in the Sky” as a reggae number.

In that regard I love the following two covers. If there’s anyone out there familiar with the musical “Oliver!”, you may recall one of the big radio hits from that show, “As Long as He Needs Me.” It was sung straight up as a slow, plaintive, melodramatic ballad both in the musical and by the various people who covered it. But last year my Broadway idol Jason Danieley did a cover with his band that is all jaunty and chipper but for reasons I cannot quite figure, is completely awesome that way. Give it a listen on this page.

But nothing tops the insanity of the Manhattan Transfer’s reinterpretation of the slow, passionate Righteous Brothers ballad “Unchained Melody.” If you do nothing else today, Blog, click on this link and listen to it. It’s like some nutty cowboy song or something. Who knows what they were on when they recorded it. Fantastic.

Sometimes covers are not so separated by time and style as these examples, as I will now illustrate, Blog. Last year I discovered the incredibly awesome version of “Our Lips are Sealed” by Fun Boy Three, which to my mind is eons cooler than the famous version by The Go-Go’s. Well, it seems the song was actually co-written by Go-Go’s guitarist Jane Wiedlin AND Terry Hall of Fun Boy Three. And the latter version came out only a year after the former. So, it was a fascinating case of artists collaborating and then performing a song separately in their own unique ways.

In closing, enjoy it--one of my favorite covers ever.



Have your own favorite cover song? Sing out in the comments! Randometer says you must!

Stuff I bizarradore, Volume 3

Blog, you remember how Julie Andrews tells us when we're sad, we should think about our favorite things, right?  Well, today is therefore a good day for bizzaradores, because the series finale of Lost left me feeling pretty dang blue.  Not sayin' I didn't love it, 'cause I sure did.  Just sayin', well...Big Fat Sigh.  So, without further ado, some nice, cheering stuff I bizarradore:

Hockey player toughness

Yesterday was hardly a total bummer, Blog.  While we lost a favorite TV series, we gained an NHL Western Conference Champion.  The Magic House fave hockey team, the Chicago Blackhawks, swept the San Jose Sharks in four games to earn a berth in the Stanley Cup finals for the first time in 18 years.  (The last time they won the Cup, Davie was 11 days old.)  One of the game's heroes was Duncan Keith, who besides having one of the most awesome names ever, is probably the team's best defenseman.  Duncan got hit in the face by a puck and lost seven teeth, one of which he almost choked on.  He missed seven minutes of the game.  Only seven minutes.  Only in hockey do you see that kind of pain tolerance and dedication.  Read how nonchalant Duncan was about it all on this hilarious report from the Chicago Sun-Times.

People who read the blog even when there are plenty of other things to be doing

I spent an inordinate about of time on yesterday's post, Blog, when I should have known it was a beautiful May Sunday when the last thing the twelve people who read this blog would feel like devoting time to.  (Oy, I've ended two sentences with prepositions in this post...I really am losing it.)  So I wanted to give a shout out to those devoted fans and followers who actually read our terribly non-insightful ravings on days like that.  Free cuddles with Cody to any one of you anytime you show up at Magic House.

Tiny food

In my perusings as a polymer clay artist, I occasionally come upon one of those groovy people who specialize in tiny, doll-size food. Sometimes I really can't believe their talent. Take, for example, these ridonkulously perfect itty bitty cheeses and crackers. You know the artist has done well when you really, really want to eat the lilliputian stuff. You can see more mini-foods here.

Matthew Morrison singing the national anthem

I'm not sure that in his role as Mr. Schue on "Glee," Matt is getting to show off the full range of awesomeness of which his pipes are capable.  (See, I managed to not end with a prepo there, Blog.  And total awkwardness ensued.)  However, in this anthem sing from the Mets/Yankees game, you get the drift.  Wow.  Is it unpatriotic to want to swoon over "The Star Spangled Banner"?



Pizza with fig spread, prosciutto and gorgonzola

This was the treat daughter Manzi and boyfriend Nate prepared for our Lost Finale gathering of three, and it was so yummy it really soothed the sting of the occasion.  Our readers can whip it up themselves easily:  just a thin coat of fig spread on a pre-crisped thin crust, topped with bits of prosciutto and crumbles of gorgonzola, then baked a bit more to melt the cheese.

Ben Linus

I've said it before, I'll say it again, and I certainly must say it the day after bidding him farewell:  I love Ben.  He's so much more than just the most beat-up character in TV history.  He's so easy to love as well as to fear, hate, pity and lust after.  (I don't give a crap about that prepo, Blog--I'm in mourning, gol' dang it!)  How did you manage that, Lost writers Damon and Carlton?  How can you be so amazing, Michael Emerson?  How am I going to get along with you, Benjamin Linus? 

Okay, Blog, okay...I'm not going to cry again, here.  Ben and his fellow Losties will live on in our hearts 4evah, and that's what really matters.  Let's sing another rousing chorus of "Here Come the Hawks" and keep those chins held high!

I like [almost] everything

Yesterday, Blog, we learned that I like Liv Schreiber dressed either as a man or a woman. This just went to reinforce my sense that this blog could be subtitled “Eclectic R Us.” It also put me in mind of that beloved song by Pat McCurdy that runs like this:

I like men and I like women

I like sinkin’, I like swimmin’,

I like dogs and I like cats,

I like cows in cowboy hats.

I like knives and forks and spoons,

I like to whistle happy tunes;

I like to come, but not too soon...

I like everything!

I like almost everything, to the point where it’s almost more interesting (assuming it’s interesting at all, which may be a leap) to know what I don’t like.

Take for example Ipo, my iPod, who currently stores 30 genres of music. This morning during my workout and drive I heard these random tracks:

Manhattan Transfer – Route 66

The Four Seasons – Candy Girl

Sisters of Mercy – This Corrosion

[title of show] (OBC) – Part of It All

Roxette – The Look

Vince Guaraldi – Baseball Theme

Hair (OBC) – Good Morning Starshine

Eric Carmen – That’s Rock ‘n’ Roll

Bryan Adams – Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman

I’m hard pressed to come up with a type of music not on Ipo, as I do have a rap song, a couple country songs, and something approximating death metal. But here’s what I don’t like: late Beatles. I actually don’t like “Eleanor Rigby--I know, Blog, it’s a scandal.

When it comes to movies and TV shows, I’m also pretty eclectic. “The Sound of Music” to “3:10 to Yuma,” “Forbidden Planet” to “Office Space,” “Lethal Weapon” to “Beaches,” “Saw” to “Veggie Tales,” I can dig it. What I don’t like? Mob movies and stuff about drug dealers. With the rare exception (e.g., the Godfather movies) they are just not my scene, and no I didn’t watch “The Sopranos.” Weird though how I like “Breaking Bad.”

I will also eat just about anything. I even ate dirt on a dare when I was a kid. Along with unsweetened Koolaid powder, but let’s not digress. I do have a problem, however, with offal and celery. Offal, you know, Blog, is stuff like brains and headcheese. And while every other veggie is fine with me, celery is as awful as offal. Put a stalk in my bloody mary and I will be offally offended.

What’s that you say, Blog? You think our Randometer would enjoy a list of random things I don’t like? Well, I’m happy to oblige! I don’t like:

• The current obsession with stainless steel appliances.
• Chimpanzees (although I do like “Another Postcard with Chimpanzees” by Barenaked Ladies).
• Not cutting the tags off stuffed animals.
• All amusement park rides that have height requirements, and most of the ones that are for kiddies too (although it’s fun watching other people ride them).
• Chewing gum (and it’s not fun watching other people chew it).
• Knotted up telephone cords.
• When Google Alerts turns up bogus stuff that has nothing to do with the topic.
• Top hats when they are not worn to look elegant (e.g., Slash and the Mad Hatter).
• And the ultimate thing to be hated in my world: Misuse of the term “enthused.”

But you know, Randometer, as much fun as that was, I believe it’s far better to think about the random things one likes (see bizarradore). I feel extremely fortunate to be born such an eclectically-inclined person. Life would be even better if I could say I liked soccer, the band XTC, tarantulas, scotch, and the Great Plains.

Okay, fellow eclecticophiles, what do you like? Click the right-on box if cows in cowboys hats rock your world!

Stuff I bizarradore, Volume 2

Hey Blog, now that bizarradore is on its way to becoming a household word, let’s revisit the concept. Raindrops on roses, it’s some more random little things that I love!

Cat paw pads

What’s not to love about paw pads? They are cute and come in many colors. Some time ago I made up an annoying little song that I sing to Cody about his paw pads, to the tune of “99 Bottles of Beer.” It goes like this:

Some your paws are black,
some of your paws are pink!

How many paws are black,
and how many paws are pink?
Ten of your paws are black,
ten of your paws are pink!
That’s how many paws are black,
and how many paws are pink!

Yeah, I’m that way. Cody truly does have twenty paw pads, and ten of them are predominantly black, while ten are predominantly pink. Which pretty much exhausts this topic.

Mini-tours of my own house

Sometimes at night after Davie’s a-bed, I just walk around the house and look at stuff. You know, the furniture, the art on the walls, the knick-knacks and collectibles. When you live in a place, you tend to stop seeing the cool things you own. When you picked them out and bought them, you thought they were awesome, but after awhile forget to appreciate them. So I’ll admire the box frame with the leaves in it that Davie snuck back to Cedarburg to buy me as a surprise, or the polymer clay faux geode heart I made, or how nice the paint in the studio looks.

Rocks

Ask anyone who knows me or has been to my house. I’m obsessed. I have collected rocks since I was five years old and would go beachcombing at Point Beach (Lake Michigan) every summer. The volume of rocks that accumulated in my room was rather annoying to my mom. Whenever I’m walking around rocks I can’t help but stare down at them, looking for free treasures.

I have one word for heaven on earth: lapidaries.

One of the very cool things about polymer clay is that you can make rocks out of it. They look just as cool as real rocks but are lighter and easier to use for stuff. Like you can make holes in them for jewelry or stick them on things like switchplate covers. Awesome.

Books published by my friends

I love how people I know personally are taking advantage of all the new ways a person can get books published these days. My friend Cherie Burbach was here recently to talk about her book; she has her own publishing company just like I do, called Bonjour Publishing. My friend Bob Le Normand, who lives in Wales, had his fantasy novel Kendulla published by a small independent press called Willow Bank Publishers. The husband of my friend Connie, Ron Pappalardo, published his book Reconciled by the Light via Lulu, a “self-publishing” service. My daughter Katie’s boyfriend Chris produced his photography book Fading Nostalgia: Polaroid Adventures on Route 66 using Blurb.com, another very nifty way to self-publish. I guess you could say I collect books written by my friends!

Bizarradore shorties

• Beer chasers with bloody marys
• Steel drums
• Seeing what new outfits Kurt Hummel will sport on each episode of “Glee”
• The typeface used for the titles of the Austin Powers movies
• The word “fox”

Any bizarradores to share, readers? Or, if you like any of mine, click the “right on” box!

Artist of [Undetermined Timeframe] #4: Pisanki Artist Samantha Michel

Blog, I recently discovered a Facebook friend of mine, Samantha, has an unusual hobby and talent. She makes pisanki.

I know pisanki sound like they might be pancakes made of beets and topped with boisenberries, but they’re not. They are also not colorful waist scarves traditionally worn on the Eastern European holiday of Główna Wygrana (which, by the way, is Polish for “jackpot”). There IS no holiday called Główna Wygrana, I made it up.

No, Blog, pisanki are Polish decorated eggs, and as you can see by Sam’s collection of creations, they are gorgeous.

She explains, “I have been doing Pisanki for about four years. It is a Polish folk art, and although I am not Polish, I love the art of it. I learned from Fr. Czeslaw Krysa who is a nationally recognized folk artist, specifically in the art of Pisanki, which he has studied for years. He has an enormous collection of his own eggs, some of which have been shown in the Smithsonian and at other museums. He traveled all over Poland compiling designs and stories and pictures of the art.”

And how is Pisanki done? Samantha shares the process: “You start with a whole, raw egg. Farm fresh eggs are best because they hold colors better than store-bought ones. It’s good to use medium-large eggs because they tend to be sturdier than the bigger ones. The wax used is pure beeswax because it’s smoother than candle wax.

“You use a stylus, which is a plastic or metal rod with a little cup on the end, which has a hole in the bottom of it. You heat the cup of the stylus in a candle flame and dip it into the wax, until you have a reservoir of melted wax. Then you ‘write’ with the tip of the stylus. There are a few different sizes of styluses you can get for different work.”

“Anything you write over with the wax will stay white. When you have finished everything you want to be white, you submerge the egg in a dye. You can buy dye packets (they are non-edible and very rich colors) from internet sources or sometimes at craft stores. Some traditional pisanki are made with dye from onion peels, which produces a brownish-red color.

“After dyeing the egg, you write more. You layer on colors and patterns until the egg is finished, light colors to dark. When the writing is complete, the egg with be somewhat covered in blackened wax (the wax becomes black from the candle soot.) At this point, you hold the egg to the side of candle flame, then wipe off the melted wax with a tissue. Continue until the egg is free of wax and the colors shine!”

Obviously you’re not going to want to crack these babies and make the insides into scrambled eggs for the holiday of Znak Zapytania, Blog. Yeah, yeah--no such holiday, it’s Polish for “question mark.” Anyway Sam tells us, “We coat the eggs in two coats of polyurethane. When they are dry you poke a hole in the bottom of the egg and blow out the insides. Some people don’t blow out the eggs, and over time the egg will dry up, but sometimes it cracks or explodes from the pressure so it’s usually better to blow the egg out.”

And that’s the kind of “Spring Break” no one enjoys, Blog.

This photo shows some of Samantha’s favorite eggs grouped together. I’d be hard pressed to pick the one I like best. She says, “I really enjoy creating the eggs. I’ve done some of my own designs, and many are ones I’ve copied from Fr. Czeslaw’s collection. And there are endless others that I still want to do!”

I learned from our buddy Wikipedia that the pisanka (singular) tradition is over a thousand years old. In fact, they are probably the origin of the entire custom of the Easter egg. Says Samantha, “Many of the symbols used in the designs represent new growth and life and faith, and the actual act of melting the wax off the egg after coloring is known as the ‘resurrection’ phase, going from the blackened wax to the beautiful colors of the final design.”

Wikipedia adds, “Today in Poland, eggs and pisanki are hallowed on Easter Saturday along with the traditional Easter basket. On Easter Sunday, before the ceremonial breakfast, these eggs are exchanged and shared among the family at the table.” Cool.

This last photo shows Samantha’s favorite design of pisanki. I bizarradore them. Sam says, “It takes a lot of practice, and a willingness to overlook imperfections (they are never perfect) and lots of time, but for me it’s totally worth it for these gorgeous works of art.” And whether you are Christian or simply live in the Northern Hemisphere, it’s a wonderful time of year to ponder the unconquerable powers of life and creativity. Thanks for brightening our Triduum with your lovely hobby, Samantha!

Stuff I Bizarradore, Installment #1

Hey Blog, what’s that you say? “What’s ‘bizarradore’?” Well, that’s a question the whole world will soon be asking. And fortunately, Google will be there to send them to this blog post, Blog. Right now, of course, Google has no reply:

But when it does, people will come here and learn the definition:

Bizarradore, verb
To be very fond of and enthusiastic about something random and unexpected: I bizarradore overcooked Swedish meatballs.

So today I’m delighted to introduce you to the concept of bizarradoring by giving five examples from my own life. Now remember, Blog, you can’t bizarradore things that are commonplace, like flamenco guitar. And you can’t bizarradore things a lot of people know you like, like capybaras (well, I mentioned them once before on a very high profile blog, that is, YOU, Blog). You can only bizarradore stuff that very few people know you like, and very few people ever even think about except randomly. So forget raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, my friend.

Just let me illustrate. I bizarradore....

The Word “Narwhal”

Blog, I can’t explain this, but I just do. Narwhals themselves are okay, I guess, but the word “narwhal” really sends me. There’s nothing that can’t be improved by the addition of the word narwhal. Cases in point, the lyrics of “Rock Lobster” (aka your theme song, Blog), and this, the greatest moment in all of the film “Elf”:



The Gibson Girl

I discovered the Gibson Girl in high school and was just obsessed for awhile. Wikipedia (which will soon have an article on “bizarradoring” I’m sure) explains, “The Gibson Girl was the personification of a feminine ideal as portrayed in the satirical pen and ink illustrated stories created by illustrator Charles Dana Gibson during a 20-year period spanning the late nineteenth and early twentieth century in the United States.” She was feminine and beautiful but also independent, spunky, and powerful.

Being a Peggle Grand Master

Forget Bejeweled, there is no computer game more awesome than Peggle, at least for folks like me not really into computer games. My husband is a gaming geek and all his magazine and website sources say so. And I am an actual Peggle Grand Master, Blog! I’m so proud! It took a ton of work you know! Which I did while holding down a full time job and being a successful fiction author! Enough boasting. The only thing better than Peggle on your PC is PEGGLE ON YOUR PLAYSTATION 3!!! Feel free to watch this video of someone pulling off a shot more amazing than anything I’ve ever done.



Guys with Mops of Tousled Dark Hair and Large Noses

Now some people may say this doesn’t count because of my well-known obsession with Neil Gaiman, but in fact I’ve had this thing for a very long time, since the late 60’s when I was crazy for David Steinberg, and the 80’s when I was strangely drawn to Paul Sand. Mops of tousled dark hair alone work pretty well (see Elijah Wood as Frodo) but I think that’s too common to count. I’d like to say mops of tousled dark hair and Jewish noses (Neil and David are both of Jewish heritage). However, although Paul looks Jewish, his real name is Sanchez. And the principle works just as well for me with Naveen (Sayid) Andrews, who is very much not of Jewish heritage.

Trumpeting on Grass

By this I do not mean playing the trumpet while high. I mean using a blade of grass to make a tiny trumpet using your thumbs. This WikiHow shows you how, so you can bizarradore trumpeting on grass too!

Got it, Blog? I can’t wait to see the comments our readers post about bizarradoring these same things, or some total random stuff of their own choosing!  And don’t worry, I’m sure we'll post again on this topic someday soon, Blog.