Welcome to my bar!

If you’re thinking my insurance problems may be driving me to drink, Blog, you’re kinda right. But not to worry, even though I’m from Wisconsin I’ve never been a binge or heavy drinker. Heck, until my mid-30’s I’d only been in one bar in my whole life, Paul’s Club in Madison. (And don’t forget, I was legal at 18!)

But I was raised to appreciate good wine, learned to like beer, and have always been fascinated by cocktails. All those colors and flavors! Endless combinations! Fun names like “Singapore Sling”! And no baking! So when my level of affluence permitted it, I began to refine the Art of the Well-Stocked Bar.

I am a totally amateur mixologist. However, I do have the credential of having placed third in a cocktail contest last December, so I’m not a total poser, am I, Blog? I wish Blog could vouch for my modest skills, but of course he has not only a low tolerance for alcohol but also no mouth.

Here’s a look at our bar, which also serves as our coffee bar (and storage for my mug collection). Our glassware, including Davie’s pint glass collection, is mostly elsewhere.

Cody had to seize his piece of the limelight of course....

So, for what they are worth, here are my recommendations for what you need to make your home as popular a watering hole as the neighborhood Applebee’s. Items in bold will comprise a good starter kit for a basic bar.

LIQUORS

vodka

whiskey/bourbon
white rum
dark rum
gin
tequila
brandy and/or cognac
scotch
spiced rum (i.e., Captain Morgan’s)
coconut rum (i.e., Malibu)

flavored vodkas (pepper, raspberry, etc.)

LIQUEURS (order of importance IMHO):

almond (Amaretto)

orange (Blue Curacao, Triple Sec, Cointreau, Grand Marnier)

raspberry (Chambord)

chocolate (Godiva, Creme de Cacao)

mint (Creme de Menthe, Rumple Minze)

coffee (i.e., Kahlua, Tia Maria, Starbucks)

peach (Peach Schnapps, Southern Comfort)

hazelnut (Frangelico)

Irish Cream (Bailey’s)

apple (Apple Pie, apple schnapps)
banana (Creme de Banana)
melon (Midori)
anise (Galliano, Sambuca)
cinnamon (Goldschlager)
root beer (Root Beer Schnapps)

ACCESSORIES:

dry vermouth

sweet vermouth

bitters

Rose’s lime juice

grenadine

Before we continue, let’s take a creative break and look at the switchplate cover I made for the bar area out of polymer clay. Picture me creating those tiny, tiny, tiny grapes and the individual shnivels I mashed together to make the tiny, tiny, tiny corks.

MIXERS:

cola

tonic water

sweet soda (i.e., Sprite/7Up)

sour soda (i.e., 50/50)

sour mix

mix

club soda (sparkling water)

ginger ale

lemonade

lemon juice

lime juice

orange juice

pineapple juice

half & half or cream
eggs
ice cream

PREMIXES/BOTTLED COCKTAILS:

Bloody Mary
Margarita

Old Fashioned

Mojito

GARNISHES/SEASONINGS:

white and brown sugar

sugar syrup

large grain salt (for glass rims), table salt

pepper
cinnamon
nutmeg
tabasco sauce
worcestershire sauce
olives
pearl onions
green onions, celery, beef sticks etc. for Bloodies
maraschino cherries

lemons

limes

oranges

raspberries

strawberries

apples

pineapple

mint leaves

EQUIPMENT:

jigger

cocktail shaker

blender and/or ice crusher

GLASSWARE:

wine glasses

beer glasses (pint glasses can double as highball glasses)

Old Fashioned glasses (small, round tumblers, 8-10 oz.) – for moderately strong drinks

Highball glasses (tall, straight-sided, 10-12 oz.) – for weaker drinks heavy on the mixers

Martini glasses – for very strong drinks that are mostly liquor

champagne flutes

hurricane glasses (extra big and tall and curvy)

cordial glasses (for liqueurs served alone)

Now let’s take another break to look at one of my cocktail creations. First up, a layered drink (aka “pousse-café”) called a Firecracker, concocted for 4th of July, 2008. It’s grenadine, blue curacao, and a mix of sour, vodka and Chambord, and the glass is edged in honey and crushed blue pop rocks. Talk about a party in your mouth. See how fun this can be, Blog?

TIPS, TRICKS AND RECOMMENDATIONS:

1.  I have a cool tip that’s sort of a cheat but saves money. I also use flavored syrups (like you use in coffee) in cocktails. Coconut syrup can turn rum into Malibu, raspberry syrup can sub for Chambord, etc. This can also be a way to reduce alcohol content if you are so inclined, or to make mocktails with no alcohol.

2.  If it’s sold in your area, Jimmy Luv’s is my fave Bloody Mary mix. Fan-freaking-tastic, Blog. If you only had a mouth. And I am a big believer in the beer chaser on the side with your Bloody. Such a great combo.

3.  For a fun highball, do a Frosted Coke: Fill a hurricane type glass half full of ice. Throw in a glug of any combo of these: rum, chocolate liqueur, coffee liqueur, almond liqueur, Irish cream. Fill almost full with cola. Top off with a splash of cream, half & half, or even some soy milk product like Silk (that actually works real well). Stir and serve.

Okay, now here’s a photo from a mint julep party on our patio. I make my own mint syrup and use my 1960s Oster ice crusher, Sno Flake (bought on eBay). Cody obviously approves.

4.  The secret to getting your martini so cold that ice crystals form in the glass: Fill the glasses with water and ice and let them sit like that a few minutes. Shake the drink extra long with ice in your shaker. I know this weakens it a bit but I don’t mind that, the crystallizing effect is worth it. Dump out the glasses, pour in the drink, and enjoy.

5.  Is good vodka important? After all, it’s basically flavorless. Here’s what I do: I have a medium priced vodka on hand like Skyy or Three Olives, for use in highballs and bloodies. I also have my favorite, Rehorst from Milwaukee’s Great Lakes Distillery, for martinis. For whiskey, bourbon and gin I go for the good stuff. For rum and tequila, moderate is fine for me (although I’m sure connoisseurs of those would differ on that point).

6.  If I could only have three wines in my wine rack to cover the bases, what would I stock? If you’re looking for few options that will please the most palates, I’d pick a Riesling, a White Zinfandel, and a Merlot.

Well, Blog, it’s kinda crazy how long I can go on on the subject of booze! And I haven’t even talked about the times I made mead (turned out awful) and beer (not bad but too much work). Readers, feel free to post a question, tip or fave cocktail in the comments. And party on!