Guinea Pig Posse: Introductions

(As always, click on one of the photos to get to this episode's big-picture slide show, or if you're on a mobile device, just click pics for bigger ones!)

We've discovered six new critters who have taken up residence at at our home, aka Magic House. And here they are!

I'm sure you can see that, apart from Blanche, this is no ordinary, commonplace group of miniature guinea pigs like you'd expect to find hanging out in your house. Well, read on...

Meet Blanche, your everyday, average guinea pig. Just a normal Dark-Eyed White, American breed cavy trying to find her place in the world, Blanche was looking for a few friends to help her get by. She wasn’t picky, really...a handful of normal guineas like herself would do just fine.

That, of course, is nothing like the crew she ended up meeting.

Good thing Blanche is open-minded and easy-going...not to mention diplomatic. She’s going to have her paws full with this bunch.

Here’s Midas. He’s not particularly ordinary, seeing as he’s solid gold. At a distance you might mistake him, as Blanche did, for a regular Golden. To be fair, he was hiding at the time. Midas is usually hiding, as you would too if you were worth your weight in gold ‘cause you’re made out of the stuff. Midas was in a world of paranoia when Blanche met him and coaxed him out to talk with his favorite snack, a kernel of sweet corn. But once you get to know him, Midas is a pretty hilarious guy. Just how did he end up being made of gold? That’s a mystery yet to be solved...

Particularly eager to learn Midas’s history is this fellow, Macavy the Guinea Pig Master of Disguise. Nothing gets Macavy’s hackles up like a mystery. He has always fancied himself pretty mysterious, which is why he loves to don his ladybug costume and go incognito. There’s one small hitch, took him 18 months to complete a successful ladybug costume and he’s never quite mustered the ambition to tackle a second disguise. Nonetheless, he gets a lot of mileage out of impersonating an insect. And really, do you know a guinea pig with a better disguise?

Another of Blanche’s pals also has a less than accurate self-image: Iridessa the Guineacorn. Iridessa fancies herself a Traditional Magic Guineacorn of Yore. She’s got the mystical silver horn, after all. Unfortunately, Dessa is something of a ditz and her command of magic suffers accordingly. The general rule is, make a wish on a guineacorn and your wish will come true; Iridessa’s success rate is 25.4%, an easy number to remember because it’s the number of millimeters in an inch.

That latter fact was pointed out, of course, by this fellow: Edward the Clockwork Guinea Pig of the 19th Century. Edward is a marvel of the Victorian Age, raised not amongst other cavies, but in the company of mechanical inventions. This makes him a fabulous machine, but a rather weird friend. Nevertheless, upon deeper acquaintance you'll find Ed is a perfectly charming guinea pig. He may have wooden wheels and leather ears, but his heart is in the right place. And his accumulation of knowledge over his long life is hard to match.

But if anyone can match wits with Edward, it’s this guy: Zorklotron the Guinea Pig from Outer Space. Zork’s intelligence is superior to the average Earth cavy, how else could he have gotten here from the distant planet Celeristix in the Cabbageo Galaxy? And how else can you explain his possessing nuclear water bottle technology? At any rate, Zorklotron may be strange, but you know how aliens always turn out to be the coolest friends, except when their zoned out in a comm link with the Mother Ball.

So these guys have found themselves all residents of Magic House, a fine suburban home that makes an excellent habitat for miniature guinea pigs (if you don’t mind the cats). They’ve teamed up for better or worse to face whatever adventures--and possible future g.p. guest stars and recurring minor characters--lie ahead.

Blanche keeps telling herself that this rag-tag group of friends is going to be a success. She’s seen how the Mane Six on “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic” made it big, so who’s to say her Guinea Pig Posse can’t do likewise? Besides, they are all united in one big obsession: vegetables.

And crazy as they are, Blanche loves these guys. Heaven knows they need her to stay sane...somebody’s got to be the one normal guinea pig in the bunch!

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