Stuff I Bizarradore, Installment #1

Hey Blog, what’s that you say? “What’s ‘bizarradore’?” Well, that’s a question the whole world will soon be asking. And fortunately, Google will be there to send them to this blog post, Blog. Right now, of course, Google has no reply:

But when it does, people will come here and learn the definition:

Bizarradore, verb
To be very fond of and enthusiastic about something random and unexpected: I bizarradore overcooked Swedish meatballs.

So today I’m delighted to introduce you to the concept of bizarradoring by giving five examples from my own life. Now remember, Blog, you can’t bizarradore things that are commonplace, like flamenco guitar. And you can’t bizarradore things a lot of people know you like, like capybaras (well, I mentioned them once before on a very high profile blog, that is, YOU, Blog). You can only bizarradore stuff that very few people know you like, and very few people ever even think about except randomly. So forget raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, my friend.

Just let me illustrate. I bizarradore....

The Word “Narwhal”

Blog, I can’t explain this, but I just do. Narwhals themselves are okay, I guess, but the word “narwhal” really sends me. There’s nothing that can’t be improved by the addition of the word narwhal. Cases in point, the lyrics of “Rock Lobster” (aka your theme song, Blog), and this, the greatest moment in all of the film “Elf”:



The Gibson Girl

I discovered the Gibson Girl in high school and was just obsessed for awhile. Wikipedia (which will soon have an article on “bizarradoring” I’m sure) explains, “The Gibson Girl was the personification of a feminine ideal as portrayed in the satirical pen and ink illustrated stories created by illustrator Charles Dana Gibson during a 20-year period spanning the late nineteenth and early twentieth century in the United States.” She was feminine and beautiful but also independent, spunky, and powerful.

Being a Peggle Grand Master

Forget Bejeweled, there is no computer game more awesome than Peggle, at least for folks like me not really into computer games. My husband is a gaming geek and all his magazine and website sources say so. And I am an actual Peggle Grand Master, Blog! I’m so proud! It took a ton of work you know! Which I did while holding down a full time job and being a successful fiction author! Enough boasting. The only thing better than Peggle on your PC is PEGGLE ON YOUR PLAYSTATION 3!!! Feel free to watch this video of someone pulling off a shot more amazing than anything I’ve ever done.



Guys with Mops of Tousled Dark Hair and Large Noses

Now some people may say this doesn’t count because of my well-known obsession with Neil Gaiman, but in fact I’ve had this thing for a very long time, since the late 60’s when I was crazy for David Steinberg, and the 80’s when I was strangely drawn to Paul Sand. Mops of tousled dark hair alone work pretty well (see Elijah Wood as Frodo) but I think that’s too common to count. I’d like to say mops of tousled dark hair and Jewish noses (Neil and David are both of Jewish heritage). However, although Paul looks Jewish, his real name is Sanchez. And the principle works just as well for me with Naveen (Sayid) Andrews, who is very much not of Jewish heritage.

Trumpeting on Grass

By this I do not mean playing the trumpet while high. I mean using a blade of grass to make a tiny trumpet using your thumbs. This WikiHow shows you how, so you can bizarradore trumpeting on grass too!

Got it, Blog? I can’t wait to see the comments our readers post about bizarradoring these same things, or some total random stuff of their own choosing!  And don’t worry, I’m sure we'll post again on this topic someday soon, Blog.

I heart Facebook

Dear Blog, there's no denying the invention of the Interwebs by Al Gore totally changed my life.  For one thing, if not for the Web I would never have met you, Blog!  In fact, I'd have to say all but one of the friends I've made in the past decade have been due to the Internet, and several of these are now my very best friends.

Web-based technology also totally changed my career.  I would not be a published, famous-if-you're-willing-to-exaggerate-the-facts author without it.  I'm talking about stuff like epublishing, print-on-demand, submissions by email, Amazon, and Paypal.  And the whole marketing channel that the Web is:  Yahoo Groups, blogs, enewsletters, and so on.

And now, in the last year, there's Facebook.  When I talk about Facebook, people look at me like I've fallen into the clutches of some cult.  Yes, I sing its praises pretty vehemently, and for good reason.  The great thing about Facebook is that it makes social interaction a whole lot more efficient.  That sounds kind of sterile and businesslike, but I don't mean it that way.  I just mean everyone shares with everyone all at once, in an easy-to-peruse format that enables you to pick and choose your deeper interactions while staying abreast of everything.  Oh fudge, let me just illustrate.  In the past couple days on Facebook, among dozens of other things, I:

• got into a couple very intellectual, deep discussions on political philosophy that were very edifying and made me rather proud to be an American
• made a cool new friend from said discussions (a friend of a friend, in Facebook terms)
• talked a little hockey with a Canadian pal
• learned about a cool local project in my community and how to support it
• helped a friend with wedding plans
• got some peeks into the life of the executive producer of my favorite TV show
• kept in touch with my kids
• reassured a person with a medical concern
• learned how to make foccacia bread
• kept abreast of the every-changing schedules of my shows
• enjoyed mutual encouragement of workout plans with friends
• followed (in photos and video) the life of a capybara
• got to see a friend's new haircut (who lives like 800 miles away)
• got to see a friend's new paintings (who lives like 600 miles the other way)
• learned some new facts about the publishing business (very important to me)
• shared this very awesome cat video that I share with you now, Blog:

All this and much more, in an absolutely reasonable and manageable amount of time that didn't conflict with my face-to-face relationships, work, duties, or sleep.

Oh, and it was all very fun.  And made me feel helped and helpful.  And kept me connected to an array of diverse, special, life-enriching human beings.

Blog, some people say the Web cuts you off from real life.  Maybe for some.  But I'll tell you what cuts you off from real life: living out in the country in Iowa before Al Gore's Internet was around.  When I was in my twenties and married to a pastor, we were sent to a rural parish seven miles outside of Fort Dodge, Iowa.  There were times I went a whole week without seeing another live human besides Max and the kids.  Take a gander at the aerial view of our house, via Google Maps which of course did not exist then:

The isolation is truly a metaphor for my existence.  Plus, this being Iowa rather than Wisconsin, there weren't even any trees to speak of.  Here's the view of our mailbox, also via Google Maps which of course did not exist then:

I would venture to guess that whoever is living in that parsonage now is connected to the Internet, making the landscape of rural Iowa no longer a metaphor for her existence. 

And hopefully, Blog, she's on Facebook.

Tomorrow the other shoe drops:  My humble opinion on Twitter.