Showing posts with label Broadway. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Broadway. Show all posts

October 26, 2012

The Magnificent Seven aka my all-male fantasy team

Blog, fans of my books know that I get a lot of inspiration from my celebrity crushes. I've also written elsewhere that oftentimes my fantasies feature a couple of guys vying for my attention (hey, if it can happen to Bella and Katniss, it can happen to me).

Well, nothing succeeds like excess, so I said to myself, "Why stop at two guys? Really, is there a limit to the number of attractive men you'd want vying for your attention?" Actually, Blog, there is: and the number is seven. More than that and a girl just can't keep track.

So, I put together my team of truly awesome celebrity crushes, all of whom have at various times been the stars of my daydreams, and voila...The Magnificent Seven. You may think of them as a Leverage-esque team (referring to the TNT show) that provides the various and sundry talents necessary for my complete range of romantic/adventurous scenarios. Or you may think of them in Jungian terms (referring to the developer of psychoanalytic theory), as various manifestation of my animus. Either way, they make a stunning group.

Let me introduce the Magnificent Seven:

The Mastermind: Sherlock Holmes (aka Benedict Cumberbatch of the BBC/Masterpiece show "Sherlock").

My most recent crush is on this enigmatic, charismatic genius, portrayed in the updated version as an expert in technology (i.e., really good at using a cell phone). As a British interpretation of the same literary character who inspired America's Dr. House, he is self-absorbed, egotistical, and manipulative, only with much more charm and refinement.

This is the kind of personality that (1) captivates you with his brilliance, and (2) makes a woman dream of taming him and improving his character. Blog, in my fantasy plots look for him to solve mysteries, attempt to hide his undying devotion to me, and run the operation by sheer egotism.

The Healer: Dr. James Wilson (aka Robert Sean Leonard, late of the show "House").

Wilson, who was the Dr. Watson-style sidekick to House, was the member of the team with heart and conscience. As a particularly nurturant character, he's long been the one I turned to in my fantasies when I needed comfort or relief. He's definitely a representative of the Knight in Shining Armor archetype, and every pantheon of dream men needs one of those.

Expect, Blog, that I run to Wilson when hurt, confused, or irritated at one of the other guys. I can endure the sexy capriciousness of Sherlock as long as I have Wilson to turn to.

The Science Geek: Jack Hodgins (aka T.J. Thyne, from the show "Bones").

Hodgins has been in my stable of fantasy men for awhile now--I just can't resist a guy who's good in the lab, particularly if he's funny and has curly hair. Perhaps he's more adorable than sexy, but adorable goes a long way. Hodgins is super smart but also a tenderhearted, nice guy.

Blog, watch for Hodgins to explain some of the universe's mysteries, provide comic relief, and be a true friend when I need a more lighthearted shoulder to cry on than Wilson's.

The Computer Geek: Harold Finch (aka Michael Emerson, from the show "Person of Interest").

Michael Emerson invaded my brain and heart while playing the role of Ben Linus on "Lost." While this newer character is not quite so powerful (largely because he's a good genius rather than an evil one), Michael is always captivating in any role. On "P of I" he acts almost as God, overseeing the entire population of New York City and intervening to protect the innocent from harm. That kind of stuff is great archetypal fodder for sure.

Mr. Finch will be serving a dual role as both introverted genius and guardian angel. He has the cred to be Mastermind himself were he not so private, so expect him to butt heads with Sherlock more than once.

The Musician: Christian (aka Christian Borle, Broadway star and Tom on the show "Smash").

In this case I'm having to invent a bit of a new character rather than just going with composer Tom Levitt, for the simple reason that Tom is gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I kind of need my romantic fantasy guys to like girls, that is, me. Plus it happens that Christian himself is a straight guy. Anyway, as a Broadway fan I just have to have a team member who can sing, act, play the piano, etc. To top it off, Christian is cute, sweet and funny.

Besides providing entertainment, Christian's role will be reminiscent of Tom's (and likewise that of Emmett, the romantic lead he played in "Legally Blonde"): he'll be a great counselor. I envision him providing tremendous support in a crisis as well as insightful day-to-day advice.

The Bodyguard: Eliot Spencer (aka Christian Kane, from the show "Leverage").

Yes, Blog, I stole him from the Leverage team. I find Eliot an absolutely marvelous character, because he may be the brawn of the operation (read: 99% invincible in a fight), but he's also really intelligent, sensitive, a little mysterious, and absolutely hilarious. He's got a spine of iron and is practically fearless, which I find extremely inspirational. But you can also count on him to take a stand for right, with strong but quiet determination.

Look for Eliot to be humorously annoyed by Sherlock but make friendships with the other low-key heroes: Wilson and Mr. Finch.

The Gentleman: Matthew Crawley (aka Dan Stevens, from the show "Downton Abbey").

Why does a woman need Matthew on the team? Other than the blue eyes, boyish good looks, and great accent? For pretty much the same reason why chicks always dig aristocratic British men from other periods (see also Mr. Darcy). Seriously though, Blog...Matthew is another white knight type who Does the Right Thing, albeit a flawed one. He's also a shining example of good manners and fine vocabulary. Any drama a person invents could use some of those elements, true?

Matthew will be cutting quite the romantic figure, I'm sure. And while he won't always agree with Sherlock's approach, they will share some aspects of British heritage and attitude, which is bound to create some fun.

Go team.

So, I've already "shot"--that is, imagined--the first two episodes of "The Magnificent Seven." in Ep 1:01, the boys arrived at my house, eyed each other with curiosity, and let Eliot tend bar (which I appreciated a lot because it left me free to ogle). In Ep. 1:02, Sherlock pronounced himself in charge and proceeded to look at each man and predict the role they would play in my life going forward. Believe you me, Blog, that inspired some priceless dialogue.

[Sidebar: I can do spot-on impersonations of voices in my imagination. I'm wondering if this is a common ability or if I'm weird in that way? Readers?]

I think one more solid episode like the first two, and the "network" will be ordering a full season.  

July 1, 2011

Stuff I wouldn't buy even if I were filthy rich

Hey Blog, ever daydream about what you'd buy with your lottery winnings? I know, what can an anthropomorphized disembodied being use, really? Well, this week a person in my life spent a carpload of money on a luxury item and it got me to thinking about the Two Categories of Luxury Stuff. You know, "Stuff I would buy only if I were filthy rich" and "Stuff I wouldn't buy even if I were filthy rich."

See, Blog, to each of us there are some things that people get all hepped up about that we don't covet at all. Things that make a person say to herself, "Jeez, imagine the great stuff you could buy with the money you threw away on that lame thing!" I'm sure everyone in the blogosphere is wondering what luxury items just leave me cold, so here are a few:

1. Jewelry that features giant diamonds.

2. Memorabilia items owned by famous celebrities.

3. Sets of super expensive matching furniture, and/or stainless steel appliances.

4. A luxury car like a BMW.

5. An iPhone and/or a Mac. Yeah, I'm that way.

6. Front row seats to a concert by some hugely popular artist/band.

7. Designer clothes, shoes, and/or purses.

8. Celery. I really don't like celery at all.

9. A private plane.

10. Tickets to the Super Bowl for life.

So, because everyone in the blogosphere really wants to know, here are some things I would buy only if I were filthy rich:

1. A boat and a lake property where I could keep it. And also someone to take care of said boat.

2. Some really awesome art like maybe a glass piece by Dale Chululy.

3. A rock wall and water feature built into my living room.

4. A private seminar on polymer clay art with Christi Friesen.

5. A home theater system with leather recliners and stuff.

6. Lobster for dinner on a regular basis.

7. A wing in my house that I could convert to a home for a couple dozen shelter cats.

8. A ton of advertising in every possible medium for my books.

9. A vacation home in a warmer clime where I could live in the winter when Wisconsin sucks.

10. Two weeks in NYC and tickets to every show on Broadway and to the Tonys. Annually.

So readers, what do you think? Is there a luxury item you can't see ever wanting to own? What would be your first luxury purchase after the windfall?

Oh, and I would not keep the Chululy in the part of the house with the couple dozen cats.

July 29, 2010

You're the Top!

Blog, I've been having a busy week that hasn't always gone right.  And when not everything goes right, it's time to think of something you really bizarradore!  I double dog dare you NOT to bizarradore the Cole Porter song "You're the Top." 

The words, the tune, the sentiments of two people trying to one-up each other in their compliments--how can you not be cheered by this song?  It was written in 1934 for the Broadway musical "Anything Goes," and my fave version was performed by Patti Lupone and Howard McGillin in the 1987 Broadway revival.  Just click the You Tube thingy for audio and then follow along with the smashing lyrics below....


At words poetic, I'm so pathetic
That I always have found it best,
Instead of getting 'em off my chest,
To let 'em rest unexpressed.
I hate parading my serenading
As I'll probably miss a bar,
But if this ditty is not so pretty
At least it'll tell you how great you are.

You're the top!
You're the Coliseum.
You're the top!
You're the Louvre Museum.
You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss.
You're a Bendel bonnet,
A Shakespeare sonnet,
You're Mickey Mouse.
You're the Nile,
You're the Tower of Pisa,
You're the smile on the Mona Lisa.
I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop,
But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!

Your words poetic are not pathetic.
On the other hand, babe, you shine,
And I can feel after every line
A thrill divine
Down my spine.
Now gifted humans like Vincent Youmans
Might think that your song is bad,
But I got a notion
I'll second the motion
And this is what I'm going to add:

You're the top!
You're Mahatma Gandhi.
You're the top!
You're Napoleon Brandy.
You're the purple light
Of a summer night in Spain,
You're the National Gallery
You're Garbo's salary,
You're cellophane.
You're sublime,
You're turkey dinner,
You're the time of the Derby winner.
I'm a toy balloon that’s fated soon to pop.
But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

You're the top!
You're an Arrow collar.
You're the top!
You're a Coolidge dollar.
You're the nimble tread
Of the feet of Fred Astaire,
You're an O'Neill drama,

You're Whistler's mama!

You're camembert.

You're a rose,
You're Inferno's Dante,

You're the nose
On the great Durante.
I'm just in the way,
As the French would say, "de trop."
But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

You're the top!
You're a dance in Bali.
You're the top!
You're a hot tamale.
You're an angel, you,
Simply too, too, too diveen,
You're a Boticcelli,
You're Keats,

You're Shelly!

You're Ovaltine!
You're a boom.
You're the dam at Boulder.
You're the moon,
Over Mae West's shoulder.
I'm a nominee of the G.O.P.

Or GOP!

But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

You're the top!
You're a Waldorf salad.
You're the top!
You're a Berlin ballad.
You're the boats that glide
On the sleepy Zuider Zee,
You're an old Dutch master.

You're Lady Astor!

You're broccoli!
You're romance.
You're the steppes of Russia.
You're the pants on a Roxy usher.
I'm a broken doll, a fol-de-rol, a blop.
But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

So, so fun, Blog!  Get out your tap shoes!  Oh, I suppose a non-corporeal anthropomorphized being might not own tap shoes.  Oh well...  I only wish there was a visual of Patti and Howard performing on Broadway, but in lieu of that, here's a video that's not too shabby in its own right.  It's Cary Grant and Ginny Simms performing a shorter version of "You're the Top" in the 1946 film "Night and Day."


Now, if you aren't as ancient as I am and are stumped by a few of the references in the song, the folks at Wikipedia have been kind enough to link to info on everything mentioned (including a few things from other versions).

So, Blog and readers, if you're looking for a way to brighten your day, tell a friend "You're the top!"  Or, try writing your own verse like I did here, proclaiming what I think about YOU!

You're the top!
You're a fresh-baked cruller.
You're the top!
You're a Bromstad color.
You're a secret code in an episode of Lost.
You're an Idol winner,
A Chef Flay dinner,
You're permafrost.
You're the Thing,
You're a cute-faced LOLcat,
You're the swing of a hot baseball bat.
I'm a hopeless drip, a plop that just won't stop,
But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!

You know, that's not as easy as it looks, Blog....

May 17, 2010

TV Mash-Up Party!

Blog, in honor of starting a fresh new week, I thought why not have a party? Just because it’s Monday we shouldn’t be festive? Hells no. So, in the great tradition of our fabulous mash-up parties, today we’re going to do TV show mash-ups! Wahoo!

Grab some cheese puffs and an amaretto stone sour, Blog, and listen to how we play: Imagine combining two TV shows as disparate in theme as possible, and write a fun episode description for the ensuing result. Upload to the online guide of your favorite cable or satellite TV affiliate and enjoy! Well, unless you’re a hacker of supreme skills, you’ll have to skip that last part. We’ll start with Davie’s idea (which started it all, so blame him), and take it from there.

“House Hunters” / “V”

Tyler and Lisa elect to join the “Live Aboard Program” and find a place together on the Visitors’ Mother Ship. Will they find a home with all the amenities they’re looking for?

“So You Think You Can Dance” / “Kate Plus Eight”

Auditions for the Top 20 continue; fresh off her gig on “Dancing with the Stars,” Kate Gosselin coaches the twins and sextuplets in the hopes they can flout the age requirement and compete.

“Clean House” / “American Pickers”

Niecy and the gang find a couple in rural Oklahoma whose marriage is collapsing under the weight of their hoarding of bicycles and oil cans. Mike and Frank intervene in the nick of time by buying their entire yard sale.

“Mythbusters” / “True Blood”

Adam and Jamie test the myth that a shapeshifter of average human size can turn himself into a fly; the Build Team experiments with how much vampire blood is safe to use to cure a gunshot wound.

“Breaking Bad” / “Bobby Flay Throwdown”

Bobby takes on the expert team of Walter White and Jesse Pinkman to determine who can cook the best crystal meth. Can he concoct a recipe that will please like the boys’ “blue meth”?

“Glee” / “Law and Order”

Mr. Schue takes the glee club on a field trip to Broadway, only to find them mixed up in the investigation of who was responsible for axing a famous crime show. The kids perform covers of Jerry Orbach’s hits including “Try to Remember” and “Lullaby of Broadway.”

“HDTV’s Design Star” / “Deadliest Catch”

The contestants have three days to do complete makeovers on the crab boats, while the deadly waters of the Bering Sea and wildly conflicting tastes of the captains threaten the survival of décor and designers alike.

“House” / “Ace of Cakes”

The Charm City Cakes crew is bummed when Duff succumbs to a mysterious disease that makes him gobble gum paste. House suddenly realizes the cause while making cracks about Geoff’s amazing Princeton Plainsboro Hospital cake.

“Holmes on Homes” / “Lie to Me”

When Mike Holmes recruits the services of the Lightman Group to help naïve Canadian homeowners, Cal helps a retired schoolteacher prove faulty insulation led to the death of her schnauzer.

“Mad Men” / “Lost” / “30 Rock”

Don Draper’s secret past as Dick Whitman is threatened when Jacob travels back to 1963 to urge him to admit his life is a lie. Ben turns the donkey wheel and the resulting time disruption propels Don to an alternative timeline in 2010 where he is now a handsome but dopey pediatrician named Drew Baird.

C’mon, readers, join in the TV mash-up party! We know you have an idea or two, so share them in the comments. Or challenge Blog and I to link your two fave shows in an awesome mash-up!

MAY 25 UPDATE

Glad to see Brewster Rockit is getting in on the TV mash-up fun:

February 28, 2010

Come on along and listen to

...my thrilling post re Broadway! Dear Blog, you were supposed to sing that line to the tune of “Lullaby of Broadway” from “42nd Street.” Have I lost you already? Hey, it’ll get worse.

But I should take a more positive approach here, shouldn’t I, Blog? Okay, I will! You know, I’m sure one of your greatest wishes is that you knew more about that great musical institution, Broadway-style musical theater. Wouldn’t it be great if there were a fun way to experience the best and brightest of musical theater, be entertained and learn at the same time?

Well, you’re in luck, my dear Blog! I decided to put together a nifty list of the 20 best composers and lyricists of the genre, and a film of one of each of their musicals that you can rent. See them all and you will be the most well-rounded Broadway expert you know besides me, and heaven knows I really rock that shizz. Included for your amusement are a famous song by each, from the movie in question.

Try to hold it together, Blog, I can see how excited you are.

Here they are, in approximate chronological order of the composer’s careers:

1. Gilbert & Sullivan - “Pirates of Penzance”

G&S wrote operettas in England in an age before true Broadway-style musicals, but their works are a definite foundation for the genre, and an absolute riot even today. Kevin Kline and Rex Smith were hunky pirates before hunky pirates were cool. Famous song: “I am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General.”

2. Cole Porter - “Anything Goes”
    George Gershwin - “Girl Crazy”

I admit I haven’t seen either movie, which is why I’m giving them each a “half vote.” Thing is, these two gentlemen HAD to be on a list like this. Cole Porter: One of the snappiest lyricists ever. For example: “Flying too high with some guy in the sky is my idea of nothing to do, but I get a kick out of you.” Who rhymes the first syllable of “idea” like that, huh Blog? And George Gershwin: Mind-blowingly great tunes, syncopation and harmonies. “I Got Rhythm” rules my world.