September 14, 2010

When your athletic trainer is your cat

Blog, as you are well aware, it is simply not possible for me to conduct my morning workout in the basement without Cody joining me.  If I'm on the NordicTrack, he picks a spot to sit and watch.  If I'm lifting weights, he is even more actively involved, if you can call hogging the weight bench "involvement."  Perhaps in his pea-like but devoted brain, he thinks he is my trainer.

"Lady," [he calls me Lady in the imaginary world of anthropormophized pets in which we live at Magic House], "it is time to get your exercise on!  Tote that barge!  Lift that bale!  Feel the burn!  Am I saying all this stuff right?"

Cody employs a clever blend of criticism, zoning out, and getting in the way, all designed to increase my motivation and keep me striving.  For example, here he is offering an--um--encouraging expression as I do my sit-ups.  "All right Lady, give me sixty!  Crunch, crunch--you call those abdominables?  Those aren't even one minute abs, soldier!!!"

There's nothing like getting this kind of support from your pet to keep you going.  As I do my armcurls with the dumbbells, Cody is right there for me, showing his concern.

Showing his concern....

"What?  Hey, I don't need muscle tone...I'm covered with fur.  Carry on.  Lookin' good."

And with that sixth sense that all cats possess, Cody can tell when it's time for me to do my bench presses.  With carefully planned precision, he plants his body in the exact spot where I need to be in order to continue my exercise regimen.  "Consider it an added challenge," he says.  "Use the obstacle for your personal growth and stuff! Oh, and aren't you worried that people online will laugh at the tiny size of the weights you're lifting?"

People will simply need to remember I am 54 and a feeb, Codes. 

The "obstacle" will have to cooperate at some point.  Fortunately Cody is the very soul of cooperation.  Just take note of how he helps out when I am doing my pull-downs.  Oh, the helpfulness.  I realize the fact that I'm willing to do pulldowns with a, um...seated thusly in juxtaposition to my legs, is tatamount to admitting publically that you are a crazy cat lady.  Does it help at all that I refuse to own more than three cats?

Okay, when it seems I have done an adequate amount of reps, and I turn off the iPod, Cody stands up, stares at me, and starts to chirp.  This translates to, "Yay, are we done?  Up now?  Do we go up?  Are we done?"  The response "Time to go up, Cody" and heading towards the stairs assures him he may proceed ahead of me, in effect clearing the way of any hostiles for my easy ascent to the main floor.

Thus concludes our exciting exercise experience.  For those of you who must indulge in athletic training without benefit of cat, Blog and I can only say, it's never to late to visit your local shelter and find yourself a good trainer.

You and your body (including your abominables) will be glad you did.


  1. OMG! We go through this with Colby Jack! He loves when we do the plank, downward dog or push-ups - he saunters under us, flapping his tail in our face and rubbing against our arms : / And sometimes when I do sit-ups, he just comes and sits on my belly! Resistance training?

  2. There's no way I could work out with our 4 dogs in the same room. They think it's time to play when I get down on the floor. "Ooo, Mommy wants kisses or she needs a bath. We're on it!" lol.

  3. Colby Jack! I would love to meet that guy! I'm glad I'm not the only one with a cat trainer.

    Ellen, four dogs?...yeah, that's more than one athlete can handle, all right. :-)