July 29, 2010

You're the Top!

Blog, I've been having a busy week that hasn't always gone right.  And when not everything goes right, it's time to think of something you really bizarradore!  I double dog dare you NOT to bizarradore the Cole Porter song "You're the Top." 

The words, the tune, the sentiments of two people trying to one-up each other in their compliments--how can you not be cheered by this song?  It was written in 1934 for the Broadway musical "Anything Goes," and my fave version was performed by Patti Lupone and Howard McGillin in the 1987 Broadway revival.  Just click the You Tube thingy for audio and then follow along with the smashing lyrics below....

At words poetic, I'm so pathetic
That I always have found it best,
Instead of getting 'em off my chest,
To let 'em rest unexpressed.
I hate parading my serenading
As I'll probably miss a bar,
But if this ditty is not so pretty
At least it'll tell you how great you are.

You're the top!
You're the Coliseum.
You're the top!
You're the Louvre Museum.
You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss.
You're a Bendel bonnet,
A Shakespeare sonnet,
You're Mickey Mouse.
You're the Nile,
You're the Tower of Pisa,
You're the smile on the Mona Lisa.
I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop,
But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!

Your words poetic are not pathetic.
On the other hand, babe, you shine,
And I can feel after every line
A thrill divine
Down my spine.
Now gifted humans like Vincent Youmans
Might think that your song is bad,
But I got a notion
I'll second the motion
And this is what I'm going to add:

You're the top!
You're Mahatma Gandhi.
You're the top!
You're Napoleon Brandy.
You're the purple light
Of a summer night in Spain,
You're the National Gallery
You're Garbo's salary,
You're cellophane.
You're sublime,
You're turkey dinner,
You're the time of the Derby winner.
I'm a toy balloon that’s fated soon to pop.
But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

You're the top!
You're an Arrow collar.
You're the top!
You're a Coolidge dollar.
You're the nimble tread
Of the feet of Fred Astaire,
You're an O'Neill drama,

You're Whistler's mama!

You're camembert.

You're a rose,
You're Inferno's Dante,

You're the nose
On the great Durante.
I'm just in the way,
As the French would say, "de trop."
But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

You're the top!
You're a dance in Bali.
You're the top!
You're a hot tamale.
You're an angel, you,
Simply too, too, too diveen,
You're a Boticcelli,
You're Keats,

You're Shelly!

You're Ovaltine!
You're a boom.
You're the dam at Boulder.
You're the moon,
Over Mae West's shoulder.
I'm a nominee of the G.O.P.


But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

You're the top!
You're a Waldorf salad.
You're the top!
You're a Berlin ballad.
You're the boats that glide
On the sleepy Zuider Zee,
You're an old Dutch master.

You're Lady Astor!

You're broccoli!
You're romance.
You're the steppes of Russia.
You're the pants on a Roxy usher.
I'm a broken doll, a fol-de-rol, a blop.
But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

So, so fun, Blog!  Get out your tap shoes!  Oh, I suppose a non-corporeal anthropomorphized being might not own tap shoes.  Oh well...  I only wish there was a visual of Patti and Howard performing on Broadway, but in lieu of that, here's a video that's not too shabby in its own right.  It's Cary Grant and Ginny Simms performing a shorter version of "You're the Top" in the 1946 film "Night and Day."

Now, if you aren't as ancient as I am and are stumped by a few of the references in the song, the folks at Wikipedia have been kind enough to link to info on everything mentioned (including a few things from other versions).

So, Blog and readers, if you're looking for a way to brighten your day, tell a friend "You're the top!"  Or, try writing your own verse like I did here, proclaiming what I think about YOU!

You're the top!
You're a fresh-baked cruller.
You're the top!
You're a Bromstad color.
You're a secret code in an episode of Lost.
You're an Idol winner,
A Chef Flay dinner,
You're permafrost.
You're the Thing,
You're a cute-faced LOLcat,
You're the swing of a hot baseball bat.
I'm a hopeless drip, a plop that just won't stop,
But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!

You know, that's not as easy as it looks, Blog....



  2. And here I was thinking no one would be all that interested in my raveout about an old Cole Porter song. Your comment made my day, thanks!! I mean, YOU'RE the top!

  3. Love your lyrics!

  4. Aw, thanks Ruth! It wasn't easy...but it's undeniably fun to write lyrics to a song with such a great rhyme scheme.

  5. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Cole Porter. His lyrics are absolutely "The Top". I had the pleasure of dancing and singing in a community theater presentation of "Cole" - the story of his life.

    I solo-ed "Love for Sale". Now there's one to bizarradore! Do you know it?

  6. P.S. You did a pretty good Cole parody there ;-)

  7. Sure do know it, Eileen, I own the Manhattan Transfer version! Another good one for sure. Thanks for liking my lyric...Cole I'm not, but it's a blast playing with his stuff!