My Breakup

Dear Blog, I know we’ve just met, but I honestly feel like we are going to be good for each other. Way more so than my last blog. Yes, the breakup is final.

It may just be the thrill of a new love, untainted by the contempt that familiarity can breed, but I already feel I’ve made the right choice. Old Blog was not fulfilling me anymore, I’m afraid. I’m not saying we can’t still be friends, even visit each other occasionally, but that relationship was getting just too limiting.

Limiting how, you ask? Well, Blog, a lot of it was my fault. Being the Marketing Babe that I am, I felt a heavy responsibility to talk about things on Old Blog that I thought had fairly broad appeal. I was always second-guessing whether something interesting to me would have any relevance to anyone else. That’s pretty inhibiting, especially for people like me who are so often interested in things with little relevance to anyone else.

Like making jewelry that looks like olives!

See what I mean, Blog? With you I am free to do things I could never do with my ex! I just love you for that! And in a corollary vein, with that blog I also felt that horrible obligation to Stay on Topic. The topic being, “Erotica with Soul.” Hey, I love discussing love, sex and romance as much as the next person (unless the next person is Tiger Woods, erg, sorry, new blog is not license for bad jokes). But sometimes I just want to talk about something random.

Like this Sky Mall Kitties video with which I am currently obsessed!!!



See, Blog? You actually let me post Sky Mall Kitties! Is there nothing that you aren’t willing to let me share with you? Wow. I’m so thrilled.

I can see I’m going to get to discuss on this blog all the sorts of things I’ve been repressing for the past five years that I spent with my ex. Things like the stuffed lion collection I keep in my office. Or how I made bacon vodka. Or how I heard about ChatRoulette for the first time from my 84-year-old technologically savvy dad. Or why I can’t get enough of Benjamin Linus.

Okay, yeah, I talked about that on Erotica with Soul. Hey, I’m not saying I will never talk about love, sex and romance again. It’s just so liberating that I don’t have to! I still love writing romantic stories and I’m sure I will again soon enough, but the intensity of last year took a bit of a toll. (I published five books including that “worldwide sensation” How to Catch and Keep a Vampire, all while holding down my day job.)

Say, Blog, I bet you’re wondering why didn’t I take advantage of this opportunity to come up with some really creative name for you. Well, I’m afraid the Marketing Babe in me is not totally dead, and the Equivalent Dollar Value of Internet Prestige Rating (EDVIPR) for “Diana Laurence” is currently $12,357.68. So that’s why.

[Want to know the value of your blog name? Visit http://www.edvipr.com/ to find out. Or don't, since I completely made all this up.]

Anyway, being an eclectic person (you know someone else who makes jewelry that looks like olives, Blog?), I just want the chance to express myself in a broader variety of ways. You know, by gesticulating wildly, finger painting with soup, singing Sky Mall Kitties over and over and over, and so on.

And you, dear Blog, are giving me that chance. For this I love you forever! Well, probably for at least five years as that seems to be a normal cycle for me. I wrote the Hockey Snacks ezine for five years, I was with my ex-blog for five years, I’ve been obsessed with Ben Linus for five years...wait, is he coming due? I want to renew Ben Linus please!!!

I digress. But wait a tick! With you, new Blog, there is NO SUCH THING AS DIGRESSING! Oh sweet freedom! I can’t wait to post to you again, my wonderful BFFY (Blog for Future Five Years). And who knows what my topic shall be? (Hint: Broadway musicals, and if that topic bores anyone, tough. Blog will find it fascinating, just like every other dumb and useless thing I have to say!)

P.S.: I also intend to get way more creative with the tags, like cool people like Neil Gaiman and my daughter Katie do. Let’s see, I think I’ll tag this post not only with “cat videos,” “EDVIPR” and “Ben Linus” but also “bacon vodka.” Done.