For an author that 1 in 1589730497 people has heard of, I’ve done quite a lot of interviews over the past five years. And I’m not complaining about what I was asked; I was always thrilled just to have someone interested in me at all. But these interviewers (much like myself on my old blog) felt obligated to stay on topic. They were asking me things on behalf of fiction readers, after all. So they kind of had to ask “Where do you get your ideas?” and “What’s your next project?”
Not so with you, Blog.
So, without further ado, let’s hear what Blog wants to know about me....
Blog: Have you ever noticed that the last line of the verses in “Young Girl” and “Lady Willpower” by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap have the exact same tune?
Me: Yes, in fact I have.
Blog: Did you ever notice that the one flute riff in “Land Down Under” by Men at Work has the same tune as “Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree”?
Me: No, wow--hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hma hmm hmm hmm hmm...you know, you’re right!
Blog: What’s your favorite Claes Oldenburg sculpture?
Me: I think it’s a tie between the Cherry Spoon Bridge in Minneapolis and the Crusoe Umbrella in Des Moines. How about you?
Blog: Cherry Spoon. Do you know the way to San Jose?
Me: Oh now, that’s just getting silly.
Blog: Sorry. What’s your favorite planet in the Solar System, besides Earth?
Me: And Kevin Smith? Oh, groannn, I apologize, you know I love Kevin Smith. My favorite planet is Jupiter, bccause in our grade school pageant our class played Jupiterians.
Blog: How jovial. Ha ha ha!
Me: Nice Latin punning there, Blog.
Blog: Thanks. What’s your favorite Kevin Smith movie?
Me: Still “Clerks.” I love the scene where Randal and Dante are arguing about the Death Star.
Blog: Nice. Now, as a romance author, you had to keep your geeky side a bit under wraps. What are the top five proofs that you are a total geek, in no particular order?
Me: 1. I crush on I.T. guys and engineers, and would rather go out for drinks with Sheldon from “The Big Bang Theory” than Brad Pitt. 2. I think comic book and action figure collecting is awesome and the more a guy has, the more attractive he seems to me. 3. I have been in love with Klaatu (Michael Rennie’s version, not Keanu Reeves, oh please!) for over forty years. 4. One of my proudest accomplishments is that I watched the first episode of the original Star Trek the day it premiered. 5. I think Ren Faires rock.
Blog: Okay, now even I am embarrassed to associate with you.
Me: You’re teasing.
Blog: Yes, I am. How do you like your gin?
Me: In a dirty martini with a bleu cheese olive.
Blog: And how do you like your bleu cheese?
Me: On a burger with bacon.
Blog: And how do you like your bacon?
Me: Um...on a burger, with bleu cheese?
Me: Are you stuck now, Blog?
Blog: No, no, I’m not stuck! Just give me a minute. Okay, what’s your Jersey Shore name?
Me: I totally don’t get “Jersey Shore”! It baffles me!
Blog: You should go with The Wow-Situation.
Me: No, I don’t think so.
Blog: Okay, fine. Whose your favorite judge on “American Idol”?
Me: Ben Folds, even though he’s never been. He just should be.
Blog: What’s the best reality show competition ever?
Me: That’s easy! “Craft Corner Deathmatch”!
Blog: That’s not a real show.
Me: Yes, it was on the Style Network in 2005, you can watch an excerpt HERE!
Blog: You’re the frightening kind of geek.
Me: I’m harmless.
Blog: Okay, but if you were made dictator of the whole wide world, what’s the first thing you’d make happen?
Me: Have Gary Puckett rewrite that one line so it wasn’t the same in both “Young Girl” and “Lady Willpower.”
Blog: You’re trying to force this full circle so we can be done, aren’t you?
Me: You saw through my diabolical plan.
Blog: Can I interview you again sometime?
Me: Only if at least three people check the haha box below, Blog.