March 29, 2010

A trip to the vet, or "meow mrowr meow mrowr meow mrowr"

As you know, Blog, I took off work last Friday not only to rip songs to my new iPod, but to assist Davie in taking two of our three cats to the vet for their annual checkup.  Alice (aka Pookie) and Selke were the cats in question; Cody isn't due to go again until November.

Alice and Selke are not the sharpest knives in the drawer o' felines.  The fact that Davie brought out our two cat carriers from under the basement stairs did not faze them.  Cody, however, came downstairs per usual to assist me with my workout and it was then he discovered those ominous crates.

CODY:  Oh my god.  [Flees to places unknown.]

Davie, who typically has to do this duty alone, has found in the past that when the time comes to corral Selke and Alice, they are seldom cooperative.  He advised trapping them both early to ensure the moment of capture would go smoothly.  We found Selke had retired to the linen closet on the second floor, which we keep ajar to accommodate any cats seeking napping spots on the towels.  So we shut her in.

Cody immediately planted himself in front of the door.

CODY:  This is not good!  This is not good!  Selke is in the closet!  Humans?  Hey, humans?  Selke is in the closet!  And...and those bad boxes are out.  Oh my god.  [Wants to flee to places unknown but is not willing to desert Selke.]

Davie found that Alice was in the first floor powder room.  He shut her in.  We got ourselves ready for the trip, the cat carriers were brought up from the basement and placed in the dining room.  Cody could bear his terror no longer and fled to places unknown.

DAVIE:  Okay, Alice is in the bathroom.  You can bring Selke out.

ME:  What if she gets away?  Maybe we should put Alice in a carrier first?

DAVIE:  No, first we can put Selke in a carrier.  She won't get away.

ME:  But what if Alice gets away when you try to get her out of the bathroom?

DAVIE:  I'll let you get her out of the bathroom, blah blah blah and other inaninities were said by him and by me which I can't honestly recall except we were way too paranoid about the plan.


We had Selke and Alice safely in their carriers.  They began to meow.  And meow.  And mrowr.  A lot.


See what I mean?  Ye gods.

So, we got home from the vet and let Selke and Alice out.  They were fine, unfazed by their shots and their little adventure.  In fact, I think the moment their furry paws hit the carpet their short term memories were already empty.  The joys of not being the sharpest knives in the drawer o' felines.

Cody, however, is too smart for his own good.

CODY [hiding in parts unknown]:  Oh my god!  Oh my god!  They came back alive!  But surely I'm next.  Oh I'm doomed!  So very doomed!  And I have to pee.  Oh no, oh no, oh no....

Hours later the really-having-to-pee Cody slunk down the stairs and into the basement.  He did not make eye contact.  His tail was puffy.  He did not emerge for hours. 

Finally, after dark, he appeared in the living room.  He sat, hunkered down, his tail still puffy, staring.

CODY:  Do I even know you?  Are you planning to torture and kill me?  Will you put me in one of those HORRIBLE CRATES????

ME:  It's okay, Codes, it's okay!  You're fine.  No vet for you, no vet, Buddy!

ALICE [on the back of the couch]:  La dee da, la dee da, life is good, la dee...who am I again?

SELKE: [lying on the cable box]:  Hmmm hmmm sleeping whatevs...

CODY:  I don't trust any of you!  You're plotting my demise, I JUST KNOW IT!

Well, Blog, eventually we did win back Cody's trust (although it took about 36 hours).  But I really wonder how he's going to deal with his turn in November.  Yikes.


  1. Not that it will necessarily apply to your triumvirate of felines....But when I have to take Max (and in the past, him and now-departed Pudge) to the vets they handled being on a harness & leash really well. Better in fact than in the carrier (no miaowing, crying or cursing).

    Just a thought ;) If you need a pic sometime let me know and I'll harness the boy up.

  2. Selke can sort of deal with a collar, so that might help her. Haven't tried with Pookie. Cody absolutely freaks out if you put anything on his body, as in, dashes under the basement stairs where he is inaccessible, where he remains freaked out because you can't reach him to take the collar off. Funny how these beasts are each such individuals, isn't it? BTW, love the name Max for a cat...and Pudge is cute too!