March 9, 2010

Blog interviews my car

[Dear Blog, thanks for giving me the day off!]

Blog: Today we’re delighted to welcome Diana’s car, the irrepressible 2007 Chevy Cobalt known as Racer Y. How’s it hanging, Y?

Y: I got a bath last week, so my world is rockin’, dude! What’s irrepressible mean?

Blog: Um--spunky.

Y: Well, how can you be yellow and not be spunkiest thing since Alyson Hannigan? I’m solid spunky, Blog.

Blog: Indeed. So I take it the “Y” in your name stands for yellow then?

Y: Yep it do. Like Racer X only Racer Y.

Blog: Seems to emphasize your sportiness. True?

Y: Hells to the yeah! Look, I’ve even got a spoiler! Dig it.

Blog: So you do. And a lot under the hood then?

Y: Yaaa--not so much, actually, just 145 HP, 2.2 liters. The SS coupes have 2.4’s and get 171 HP, but Diana didn’t want to go that way.

Blog: She’s cheap AND practical, that one.

Y: Yuh-huh. But the spoiler, dude! The spoiler! And I’m yellow!

Blog: Yellow is sporty as well as spunky, yes. You know, virtual eyes are drawn to your rear end, and--

Y: Wait a sec, I thought you were a dude! Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Blog: I’m gender-neutral with a masculine vibe, actually. But back to talking about you. I couldn’t help but notice your stylish taillights. Let’s get a close-up on those, shall we?

Y: Wow, you have a cinematographer and everything?

Blog: We have Photoshop.

Y: Oh. Yeah, my taillights. The Practical One went off type there; she had to go with a coupe to get those. She gave up two extra doors for these Corvette-style taillights. Rad, aren’t they?

Blog: Rad indeed.

Y: From the rear, you can barely tell me from a ‘Vette.

Blog: Um. Right.

Y: No, seriously! Diana tells me that all the time!

Blog: Oh, I have no doubt of that. And the vanity plates? “SZ TINY”?

Y: Size tiny. Inherited from the Neon. Describes Diana... she’s 5’2”.

Blog: Well, it does describe you, too, Y--you are a compact car.

Y: And proud of it, buddy! Like a ‘Vette in miniature!!!

Blog: Well of course! So...what else do you have going for you, ride-wise, my friend?

Y: Besides all the traditional perks of the Cobalt, of which I assure you there are like bazillions, I have a radical sound system. Sweet Pioneer speakers and XM radio. It’s always a party inside this guy, Blog. You should see us rock out to the Saturday Night Safety Dance on XM 8!

Blog: I bet it gets pretty wild in there, especially when she’s listening to stuff like “Climb Every Mountain” on the Broadway channel.

Y: Dude, we’ve rocked HARD to that song.

Blog: Harder than anyone ever, I’m sure. But what are you up to these days? Planning any road trips?

Y: Well, I just got involved with this great group called “Everyone Should Own a Yellow Car.” ESOYC.

Blog: Great acronym.

Y: And like EDVIPR is any better?

Blog: Touche. So tell us about that.

Y: Just trying to spread the word that yellow cars are the best. Three reasons I’ll give ya, out of the bazillion reasons: One, they look freakin’ AWESOME. Two, they cheer people up on the freeway. And three, they’re so damn easy to spot in the parking lot of the mall. Am I right?

Blog: You are right.

Y: All those lame-o gray and black and silver and blue cars, what a snooze. Even the red ones don’t pop like me and my sunny compadres, dude. And we won’t rest till everyone wakes up and gets themselves yellow cars! Imagine the better world, Blog!

Blog: I’m imagining how hard it would be to spot you if every vehicle at Southridge Mall were yellow, Y.

Y: Well, yeah, I guess.

Blog: Didn’t mean to squash your joie de vivre.

Y: Well, some would be lemon yellow, and some more the color of bananas!

Blog: And some like butter?

Y: Duuuude...all yellow cars are like buddah. HOLLA!

Blog: Go out on a high note, Y.

Y: Yup, I’m gone! Catch you on the flip, buddy!

Blog: Again, our thanks to Racer Y, Diana’s car, for taking the time to share the yellow car gospel with us today! Any readers with yellow cars, represent in the comments....

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